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[since 28/8/2006]
Create your own Friend Test here
Monday, May 19, 2008
so people! i have two online diaries now. one at blogger and the other at livejournal.
so take note. and do check back! haha.
mysleepingpills.livejournal.com
with l o v e * 11:46 AM
Thursday, May 15, 2008
You never see my tears, but that doesn't mean i don't cry.
You never feel my pain, but that doesn't mean i don't hurt.
You only see me smile, and that doesn't mean that i am happy.
every betrayal begins with trust
with l o v e * 10:17 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
it's been VERY VERY long since i posted a proper post.
well.. i'm thinking of moving on to lj anyway. hoho.
school's been tiring - tutorials... mock tests.. and more tutorials. thanks to the usuals that school ain't boring the sheeeet outta me!
been playing a fool the past few days. i feel so carefree.. but deep down i know it's gonna be shortlived. June holidays are coming, and that means Block test 2 is up.
yeah.. i'm getting the momentum up.
i never knew dreams came true, but you showed me they do.
with l o v e * 9:31 PM
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
i bit my lips
to calm myself down
when i'm so close to being yours
won't you stay with me
the reply that never came
with l o v e * 11:15 PM
Sunday, April 20, 2008
don't act like a saint in front of me, in front of the place God brought you to.
don't go round stabbing someone right from the back.
well done, girl
with l o v e * 9:32 PM
Saturday, April 19, 2008
hello people!
i am super happy right now, because i've got my own guitar!!
mummy bought it for me, thankfully!
it's..... acoustic guitar.
sui la!
with l o v e * 6:46 PM
Saturday, April 12, 2008
i came across this when i was at my sister's shop.
if you're chocolate, i'm willing to be a worm.
if you're toilet bowl, i'm willing to be shit.
if you're shit, i'm willing to be fly and fly all around you.
LOL. what the heck..
with l o v e * 10:41 AM
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Michelle is happy today......
cause i FINISHED ALL my homework that is due tmr.
- 2 econs tutorial
- chem tutorial
- GP
OHMYGAWD... i feel so accomplished.
i finished them within 2 1/2 hours. *clap clap*
the exams are nearing. i'm so freakin afraid and going nuts!
hold me my love,
telling me don't be afraid
wouldn't you want me to stay..
with l o v e * 9:46 PM
Saturday, April 5, 2008
i thought i found paradise in your arms.
i'm falling apart
i'm barely breathing,
with a broken heart.
with l o v e * 10:14 PM
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
I HATE HAIRDRESSERS!!!!!
they cut people's hair short!!
shorter than what they wanted....
screw these people!! argh.
super duper angry okay.
michelle is so pissed now she will rip you apart.
I HAVE F*GGING SHORT HAIR NOW.
with l o v e * 6:10 PM
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
man.. life has been boring for me. i wish studying was more interesting.
chanced upon someone's blog recently.
and saw how he described his longing for his lover.
it kinda touched me.. despite him using many fugs in his posts.
i wonder how many people can love someone so deeply.
it sure takes lotsa courage and stamina.
enough said.
today's april fools!
you're my obsession.
with l o v e * 6:33 PM
Monday, March 24, 2008
it's been 5309800194 years since i updated.
been busy catching up with schoolwork.
as if it's not tiring enough, i still have people nagging at me.
oh well.
but it sure feels great to leave the hospital bed. haha.
i can't wait for the outing with the girls on thursday! i'm super EXCITED!
It's the soul afraid of dreaming.
That never learns to dance.
And the soul afraid of waking.
That never takes the chance.
with l o v e * 9:24 PM
Sunday, March 9, 2008
throughts ran through my mind.
what if..
what if everything didn't start at all.
with l o v e * 11:20 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
why would things turn out this way?
never would u know.
never would u have guessed.
it was probably in your wildest dreams.
someday it'll come back to you.
right back at your face.
friendship is a sacred thing. treasure it.
with l o v e * 8:05 PM
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
woohoo! it's finally 2008!
i guess everyone has their own resolutions.
do try to keep to them yeah!
i woke up feeling great today, full of expectancy.
kinda unusual, knowing the fact that this is my A'level year.
but anyway, i know it'll be great.
God gave me a revelation, finally.
have fun people! i'm turning 18 this year!! yay
with l o v e * 12:55 PM
Sunday, December 30, 2007
旧事也不须记
事过境迁以后不再提起
从前情爱何用多等待
with l o v e * 11:16 PM
"if he really loves you, he will wait no matter how long!"
she's right.
with l o v e * 10:35 PM
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
"why do you try so hard to fit in, when you're meant to stand out? "
with l o v e * 1:34 PM
Saturday, December 22, 2007
if only we had more time.
with l o v e * 11:18 PM
望着你慢慢忘记你
it takes so much pain to put a smile across your face.
someday, someone will take me away.just let those memories live.
with l o v e * 10:10 PM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
christmas blessings anyone?
be my santa!
heh.
i want a polo tee....
esp from ralph lauren. damn.. expensive shit.
i want a treat at sakae buffet!
i want heels!
i want a nice necklace.
mmhmmmm!
presents!!!
oh. someone please give me a christmas card!!
with l o v e * 9:59 PM
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
a photo with the headmasters and teachers
a photo that i took with the primary 6 class
my "pachar" = Fairul
the OCIP trip to karimun island was definitely worthwhile.
the bonds that we had.
the friendships made.
we all know we made a difference in their lives.
it was freakin emo shit when we left on the last day.
the children cried.
teachers cried.
we cried.
i'll always remember Fairul.
he cried so badly when we left.
when i gave him a hug and said goodbye,
he cried even more.
he's such a sweet boy.
always helping me with heavy workloads.
these children are just so innocent.
all the children kept smiling at us
and they never fail to talk to us.
they can remember our names well too.
one look at them and your heart will melt.
they're village children who are glad that accept them.
i wanna go back some day again.
with l o v e * 8:39 PM
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
oh wait! most importantly,
i wanna thank those who came to send me off from the airport.
man.. i love these people and those who sent well wishes. lol.
though it was just a short 4 day trip, i was so afraid i couldn't make it back to singapore in one piece.
LOL. i kept thinking the plane would crash. heh. anyway, thanks yo!
with l o v e * 12:30 PM
haha. this first pic is dedicated to daniel. =)
ignore my face over here. omg.
qian shou guan yin. goddess of mercy with a thousand hands.
i think that's how they call it. lol
the tallest building in shanghai or something.
view of the city
chou dou fu
there are actually more photos that i wanna upload.
i'll update when i get back from chalet.
blogger is screwed.
ta people!
with l o v e * 11:52 AM
OMG! I'M BACK FROM SHANGHAI!
it was pretty fun.. with all the sightseeing and nightwalks.
made some new friends too. heh.
the company had 200 over staff there. was a huge group, but everything went smoothly!
i'm so glad i made it back to singapore. haha.
pictures? oh my.. took over a 100 photos.. i'll update some of em yeah.
with l o v e * 11:44 AM
Saturday, November 3, 2007
it's the holidays!
but.. well. still gotta head back to school for OCIP rehearsals. hmm..
i love 07s26!! heh.
my classmates are love.
also, THANK YOU TIANLONG!!
he's my angel.(in an angel mortal game) heh.
and he did many stuffs for me.
thanks a million!
yeah. random.
anyway.. i'm going to shanghai on the 7th Nov.
a midnight flight.
coming back only on sunday noon.
followed by my cousin's wedding dinner at Pan Pac, at night.
busy busy!
i'm so gonna study during the holidays.
unexpected, but true. =)
i'm not gonna let my teachers down.
nor my parents,
nor those who love and support me.
arise and build is here!
so gotta stop excessive spending at the moment.
i'm excited to fulfil my pledge!
oh! i kinda like Settlers.
it's like Mindscafe.
peope go there to play all types of games.
board games, card games, etc.
i wanna go again!! anybody?
here are a list of places i wanna go.
take me there? haha.
1. settlers/mindscafe
2. zoo
3. national museum
4. ikea
5. national library
6. resorts
7. icekimo
8. beach
9. pulau ubin
i wanna see animals! HEE.
i wanna appreciate art.
i wanna look at furniture!
i wanna borrow books.
i wanna relax.
i want ice cream!
i wanna ride the bicycle.
i wanna explore!
with l o v e * 10:59 PM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
break my heart for what breaks Yours.
hear my cries oh Lord.
i need you.
for as I worship You,
You lead me to that place..
to that place of divine exchange.
with l o v e * 10:57 PM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
从皮包里扯出我们的照片
沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多抽几口香烟
已经没什么人会埋怨
晴天阴天今天又是星期天
唯一的打算是醒得晚一些
反正我不知道怎样打发时间
出门或不出门没差别
一个人到底应该睡右边或左边
两个人连一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人偶尔感到寂寞再所难免
你的气味还留在枕头边
一个人我重新适应一切不方便
两个人不一定就成全一个世界
一个人关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线过去那些情节更明显
with l o v e * 11:08 PM
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
exams are over! haha
and i've been busy going out to soothe my tired mind.
heh.
towning and shoppin is just so fun!! oh my oh my!
firstly! i wanna blog about my angel! ( oh. it's the "angel and mortal" game that my cell group is playing currently.)
THANK YOU ANGEL!!! i hope u're seeing this! heh.
this is the box of donuts from donut factory that my angel bought for me! i feel so loved. heh.
apart from the donuts, he/she bought me a big pillow in white! haha. and the wrapper was in white too!! lovely person i must say. THANKS A MILLION ANGEL!! i love you!!! =)
yeap. i love this free life i'm living now. it's so wonderful!
alright.. plans for the next few weeks!
1. wait for promo results
2. shop till i drop!
with l o v e * 9:14 PM
Friday, September 14, 2007
PANGSEH-ED by aikwee..
supposed to study at suntec with me.
nice buddy huh.
lol.
so yeah. met justin and town-ed.
walked from bugis to orchard.
emo-ed all the way.
i love walking around man. heh
today i am fine without you
i'll run away this time, without you.
with l o v e * 9:09 PM
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
in this cruel and imperfect world, i can only say, that
love was born to die.
with l o v e * 10:15 PM
Sunday, September 9, 2007
anywhere with Jesus i am not alone,
other friends may fail me - He is still my own;
other friends may fail me - He is still my own;
though His hand may lead me over dreary ways,
anywhere with Jesus is a house of praise.
God is good.
God is fair.
God is fair.
enbrace this new term.
with faith that things will get better.
with l o v e * 10:44 PM
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
it's the third day of the september holidays and i must say that it has been enriching.
had tuitions, study groups, sushi making and cell group!
my my. i love this short holiday. it's such a nice break away from the vigorous school curriculum.
i'll upload pictures when i get all of em.
cell group was fascinating. though it was just a short one, and we watched a movie, the impact was huge!
we watched "facing the giants".
it's about a coach, named Grant Taylor, who turned to God at his saddest moments. while he was seeking God, he influenced his football players to trust in God too. the movie showed many situations whereby God did the impossible.
well.. i wanna share some nice points from the movie:
firstly.. there was this part whereby a player was feeling daunted due to his small size. so he said to his wheelchair-bound dad that he's small sized and he doesn't think he would be able to make it for the main team. but his dad told him," we are small, so as to show how good and mighty God is."
your actions will always follow your belief. so don't tell yourself you can't!
we're to bloom right where we're planted. so excel where we are. don't think about how we would do better on the other side of the pasture.
give God everything i've got, leave the results to God.
lastly, nothing is impossible with God.
indeed. i believe God will provide a way for us. since He put us to it, He'll put us through it!
i love you Abba Father.
it's Him who has brought lovely people into my life.
had tuitions, study groups, sushi making and cell group!
my my. i love this short holiday. it's such a nice break away from the vigorous school curriculum.
i'll upload pictures when i get all of em.
cell group was fascinating. though it was just a short one, and we watched a movie, the impact was huge!
we watched "facing the giants".
it's about a coach, named Grant Taylor, who turned to God at his saddest moments. while he was seeking God, he influenced his football players to trust in God too. the movie showed many situations whereby God did the impossible.
well.. i wanna share some nice points from the movie:
firstly.. there was this part whereby a player was feeling daunted due to his small size. so he said to his wheelchair-bound dad that he's small sized and he doesn't think he would be able to make it for the main team. but his dad told him," we are small, so as to show how good and mighty God is."
your actions will always follow your belief. so don't tell yourself you can't!
we're to bloom right where we're planted. so excel where we are. don't think about how we would do better on the other side of the pasture.
give God everything i've got, leave the results to God.
lastly, nothing is impossible with God.
indeed. i believe God will provide a way for us. since He put us to it, He'll put us through it!
i love you Abba Father.
it's Him who has brought lovely people into my life.
with l o v e * 10:36 PM
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
you can break my heart into a million pieces,
but each piece will still say "i love you".
aww. isn't this sweet?
heh. =) it's a nice quote, quoted from a friend.
alright! toodles people!
gotta bake some cookies now and get back to studying! =)
with l o v e * 8:16 PM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
thanks for your encouragements! =)
i believe i can keep that smile there yeah?
i'll be having a camp in school on friday to sat.
however, saturday morning, we'll depart to old folk's houses to clean and wash up. at holland village!
i hope i'm making the right decision.
to keep u there.
with l o v e * 9:27 PM
Friday, August 10, 2007
far east plaza!
i know i'm heavy.
marcus too!
they were on the 2nd floor of taka, posing as models.
with l o v e * 12:08 PM
below are photos of learning festival in SAJC.
with me in spectacles! =)
calista and i.
constance. me. cali.
beloved constance and i.
constance. me. calista.
me. heh
calista and i.
with l o v e * 11:12 AM
Friday, August 3, 2007
my life has just changed 180 degrees after the meet the parents session.
i've been ridden of my freedom, completely.
there are some things i can't help but leave alone.
ever called stupid by your own parents?
ever being told that u should eat more fish because u're so stupid?
u know how it pierced through my heart..?
i could tangibly feel it.
it's bleeding so hard i wish i was dead.
this is not what i wanted.
not at all.
this is gonna be a problem that i'm gonna fight.
fight for my freedom..
slowly.. bit by bit, i gotta stand up again and fight the fatigue.
besides that, i gotta overcome the mind block.
overcome my dumbness.
this is just too much for me.
my pillow's wet from all my emissions of tears and mucus.
can u feel the pain i'm going through from now onwards?
don't took too long to say i love you to the ones u love.
with l o v e * 8:04 PM
Monday, July 30, 2007
u know.. sometimes, i just don't know what to feel.
what am i supposed to do?
how am i supposed to react?
there are some things i choose not to know.. things i choose to pretend.. things i choose to hide.
why?
it's just me.
i can't understand myself.
more and more each day, i find myself a mystery. i can't comprehend myself.
i don't know where to go. what to do.
i don't even know what i'm hiding now.
should i just hide myself?
where are u? u've been gone for long.
are we still friends...
or strangers we've become?
with l o v e * 8:49 PM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
time for updates! =)
oh man. i've been pretty busy with school these few weeks. hmm. let's take a look at the events happening in michelle's life :
- EoM
-homework
- OCIP camp
- piano exam
ok la. maybe there ain't many, but they need so much time and effort to complete.
OMG! i'm so tired. i reach home and the moment i lie on my bed, my eyes close and dreams begin. soon, " michelle, six o clock oredi ah. what u wan to eat for breakfast? " and there my maid is, waking me up. i've been unable to wake up on my own these few weeks. i don't know why.. tired-ness just overwhelms me so much.
i'm falling sick. oh man. screw those viruses. i feel so germy!!
today is the first day of learning festival. BORING!
there's learning fest tomorrow too.
there's OCIP camp on friday to saturday. but i ain't staying over at school. gotta head to ECP at 5a.m to help out with OSIM Triathlon. heh. it'll be fun!
i don't know what i am feeling the past few days. pinches of confusion, jealousy, down..
what's wrong?
sometimes, i just come home, put my bag down and start walking around the house. i know that's lame..
too many things. just too many.. i wish i could walk the neverending long road. don't let it stop, cause i don't wanna come to a T-junction and force myself to decide whether to head right or left.
oh, u see me lugging a luggage twice my size?
with l o v e * 8:09 PM
Monday, July 9, 2007
The big question.
who's gonna walk with me?
Sometimes it's hard to find someone to be there for you, to listen to your wild thoughts, your endless rants, your unreasonable complaints.
Can a mere seventeen's words express pain and truth? And, perhaps, rid the world of confusion?
When sick, we either recover or die. But is there ever really recovery from life?
I can't figure out what i'm doing.. what i'm feeling.. what i want. I just feel so fcuked up. I feel as though something ripped my soul and i might never find it back.
Sometimes I think, I typed too much.. what for? It doesn't respond. It doesn't know how I'm feeling.. Maybe I'm just typing to let the world know that I'm falling?
guess so.
I'm getting sick and tired of life.
Hell is inviting me. Heaven is calling for me.
with l o v e * 8:32 PM
Thursday, July 5, 2007
tell me u'll be coming home tonight.
my attitude towards studies have changed. i'm glad. and i'm thankful for it.
it's really fulfilling to see myself accomplishing things on my own effort. i'm beginning to love it!
anyway.. it's the weekend soon and i wanna go shopping!!!! OH MAN.... $$$$$$...
hmmm... i love to eat! haha. i love to eat burger king, carl's jr, long john, chee cheong fun, toriQ, ice cream, etc. oh man. so much more. i'm becoming a pig. oh. but hey, i love to drink yakult!!! hehe.. super good! it helps in digestion and it makes me poo. =)
i'm sorry if i made u feel 2nd best, but u were always on my mind.
with l o v e * 8:26 PM
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
youth day's gone. and it's back to normal school days. oh. damn. tests scripts coming back, slamming right at my face..
haha. as expected, did badly.
anyway. that's not my point of blogging this evening.
during econs lesson this afternoon, pei yu found 3 postcards under a desk. and on those three cards were very valuable words. and i shall type a few which i like a lot. =)
it's really inspiring!
A champion is someone who gets up, even when they can't.
Don't sacrifice your dreams just because others lack vision.
and lastly, the best.
when the spring of victory comes after a winter of harsh trials, everything is transformed into happiness and joy. without having cried, you can't genuinely laugh. without having suffered, you can't savour real joy. i'm sure there are times when in the midst of some difficulty, you'll think "why me?". but that in fact, is your chance to fulfil the mission you have chosen.
yeah. in short, CHIMOLOGY.
haha. chim la.. but there's the essence of life in it.
sometimes, we just gotta get tough when the tough gets going.
hang in there people! tough days don't last!
with l o v e * 5:52 PM
Saturday, June 30, 2007
common tests are finally over. YAY!!! =) heh. it's time for some fun, before the mugging starts. oh! there's a youth day holiday for us on monday!! wooohooo!
well.. the common tests were not as easy as we thought they would be. friggin difficult (esp maths and chem) oh man. life sucks. haha. i gotta start revising real hard from next week onwards. i guess my studying hours are just not enough... or maybe, my studying methods are totally wrong. sheeez!
oh! i went to watch transformers yesterday with the zhss band peeps! i would rate it as 9/10 la! the storyline's good. effects super good. and what d'ya expect to be best? hot babes!!! omg. serious. damn good. the show was prolly about 2hours20mins. it was so worth it! sacrifice- was the main theme for the show i guess. about how the good transformers would want to sacrifice themselves for the sake of putting the cube into good hands(which would determine whether the human race would perish) and also how the main lead, Sam, fighting for the cube and caring less about his life. there are some touching parts, but mostly action!
talking about sacrifice, i think to myself, how much have i sacrificed for others? (my family, close friends, even God.) this thought, set me thinking about a lot of things, (and i really mean a lot....).
from now till a levels end, i have so much to sacrifice. my youth, playtime, but most sadly, God.
my parents just don't let me engage fully in church activities. to them, i can only be engaged on a saturday. if i tell them i'm going for cell group or prayer meeting, or fellowship, they would go, "why does your church have so many activities? do they wanna take up every day of the week? why must you always go? can't u skip just one of them? go out and eat don't need money ah?......"
blah blah blah. BAH! freaking irritating.
i know i gotta honour them. but in this case? what am i supposed to do?
i would very much wanna go for fellowship and attend all the activities, but i'm handicapped to do so. everytime i gotta leave them as they head for dinner, i feel burdened. my friends would go, "why aren't u going for fellowship?" or "why do u have to leave so early?" i'm really tired of carrying this burden with me. sometimes, i just wanna go home without explaining anything.
sigh.
with l o v e * 11:56 AM
Monday, June 18, 2007
haven't been blogging much huh. holidays have been about studying and more studying.
life's pretty good these few months, i must say!
heh.
i miss going icekimo (it's an ice cream shop)
haven't been going there for weeks! OMG... i miss the earl grey and jasmine flavoured ones..
*hint hint*
just a random thought:
why has the world changed.. why are people becoming this way?
how can fame bring a person temptations..
it hurts to hear how things turn out this way.. if only u could have just held on.
i'm glad mine isn't that way. =)
u always make my day.
through silly gestures.
the encouragement comes from u.
the nagging comes from u.
the care and concern that words don't express.
it all comes from u.
always.
with l o v e * 8:42 AM
Friday, June 15, 2007
here are some photos from W355's BBQ yesterday!
with l o v e * 8:38 PM
Thursday, June 14, 2007
holidays have been pretty boring for me. been studying hard for exams.
omg. stab me please... i'm tired. freakin tired from all that, but my parents are expecting more and more each day.
i'm studying close to 8 hours a day.
that's 1/3 of my day.
gone, for the sake of studying.
anyway.. had cell group BBQ today at east coast park.pretty fun!
but i'll post the photos another day.
tomorrow, the gruelling study hours are gonna take place again.
sick and tired.. seriously.
with l o v e * 11:03 PM
Sunday, June 3, 2007
emerge day 3 was fabulous!
love filled the entire hall. love filled the hearts of those who were present.
this session really renewed my love for God. i'm glad i attended.
it doesn't matter how loud i praise, how fast i pray.
all it matters, is my strong love for God.
here's a new song which i got to hear during emerge today. it's amazing.
i love the life that i have now.
it's filled with God's little touches.
with l o v e * 12:07 AM
Sunday, May 27, 2007
lotsa people falling ill these few days.. do take care yeah.
well.. i'm down with cough.
HO HO HO! the holidays have started!!
and i can't wait for 6th june to come. it's my sister's wedding dinner at Four Seasons Hotel!!
gonna study real hard with pei yu this holiday. heh!
gotta buck up and do someone proud.
does anyone believe that if someone is meant for u, he/she will return even if they leave one day?
i believe in that.
anyway.. i wanna use this holidays to catch up on my school work, and to catch up with friends.
i miss this good friend of mine since pri school.
i haven't seen her for two years?
she's called weiling. and i think she's in anderson jc. oh man. we haven't been talking that i think we'll find it awkward if we meet up.
but i really miss her. she was a good friend who stayed near my former house and someone who saw me at my most unglam moment. she's the one whom i haven't been contacting and i really miss her.
another good friend of mine.. heh. casherine!
i hope she's doing well at ngee ann poly. that bitch in her class has been giving her trouble. this holidays, it's payback time! wahhaa.
we would be meeting up soon yeah.. i find it a joy to see her and hear her crappings. =)
i miss my jie meis too.. the ones whom i was once so closed too..
shuhan, cherylnn, veronica, vanessa, andrea, constance.
they were important in sculpting the michelle u see now.
i miss them so much. i wanna head out with them.. and have our laughs again.
i remember talking so much nonsense whenever i'm with them.. man.. i had a great time.
victor! you have been the one who has been alongside me all the while. no matter what problem arises, you'll be there to help me through. thanks a lot. i'm glad we got together 4 years ago. that relationship taught me how to care for a guy, taught me how to focus on my studies. without the break up in may 2005, i bet i wouldn't have gotten the good results i got for o levels.
jeremiah, the guy whom i once fell so deeply in love with. a guy who i truly admire. his guitar skills are superb. well.. i bet dota-ing and maple would also be his niche areas. heh. but he taught me how to cherish the guy i love. i guess i didn't learn it in time when we were together. well.. i do miss the fun times.. missing that simple love we had. those spastic photos we took together. but i believe we should look forward yeah? friends we are, that's nice enough. your entry into my life moulded me into a stronger person.
and shawn, do take good care of that sickness of yours..
it's gonna be a month soon! =) whee
i'm gonna attend ur Passing Out Parade yeah? lalala.
thanks for all that you've done for me, really. i'm glad i have u around.
your encouragements have always been in my heart. i've never felt so free when being with anyone. you give me ground to voice my opinions.. time and patience to voice them out. most importantly, you give your open heart to hear them. i know i'm able to tell u anything.
u may be inadequate in some areas, but hey! u're damn good at studying. heh.
i'm so proud of u! even SMU and NTU want you. this shows something man.
it's ok not being an officer. it's just 2 years of fame right?
how about being a successful accountant or business man? it's a lifetime affair.
you can do it! you have my support, all the way.
love. =)
with l o v e * 8:58 PM
Monday, May 21, 2007
whao.. haven't been blogging for quite some time.
how's everyone?
yeah. the holidays are coming huh. =) yay!
gonna accomplish lotsa stuff this holiday.
EMERGE is here too! good stuff. LOL.
yeah. it's time for us to come together to learn and have fun.
i miss lotsa people though...
i miss casherine.. she and her nonsense...
i miss cynthia, wan chin and tricia..
i miss lotsa zhss peeps.
i miss that guy too. :)
oh well.. school is fun. with peiyu and her nonsense. lol
accompanying her are constance, calathea, jonathan, daniel and kenn. etc. lotsa nice people in 07S26 i must say.
can't wait for the holidays to come.
i'll surely head down to the ice cream shop to eat. heh.
alright.. be back soon.
take care y'all.
with l o v e * 5:58 PM
Friday, May 4, 2007
life's been pretty good!
been breezing through school these few weeks. =)
i guess it's time to get started. yeap.
and GPY, u too k!!!
we must do it together. the 4 of us!
oh! here's a fun fact!
a good friend of mine** said that chocolates contain endorphins - a substance which produces a scent on u which the opposite sex would be attracted to.
heh.
i'm whole once again.
would u stand by me?
hold on and never let me go.
would i be part of your life, when the story gets told?
with l o v e * 9:08 PM
Saturday, April 28, 2007
well, i thought u would.
have u ever looked at ur handphone constantly, waiting for someone to call?
did u ever give all kinds of excuses just to be with someone for a while?
would u?
with l o v e * 11:59 PM
SAJC SUCKS PLEASE.
the school admin to be exact.
yes. totally!
that bloody bruce lee called my house and talked to my dad.
he freaking told my dad that my skirt was short and the worst part,
that i talked in the canteen while having break.
WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT LA?!?!?!?!
I'M HAVING A BREAK AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT LA.
ASSHOLE.
ASSWIPES.
eeeeeee..
disgusting!!
the wonder we did so badly for PW.
because the teachers divert their efforts to observing things like these.
seriously.. i don't think i'm not allowed to talk in the canteen.
open ur eyes u shithead.
and that stupid woman who caught me for skirt.
she was at the bottom of the flight of stairs and i was high up on the stairway. OF COURSE U WILL SEE THAT MY SKIRT IS SHORT LA!!!!
U KNOW WHAT IS PARALLAX ERROR OR NOT?!?!?!
bloody shit.
disgusting teachers.
OH!
just wanna share with as many people as possible. our dear SAJC got mainly c's and d's for PW.
all thanks to incompetent teachers in our school.
URGH!!!
so angry.
with l o v e * 12:02 AM
Monday, April 23, 2007
busy busy.
quite ironical to be blogging huh. LOL.
anyway. life these few weeks have been spent with my great friends.
crapping with pei yu.. hanging out with cons and cal.
=)
i'm a happy girl.
haha.
i gotta blog about something.
we were talking about art a few weeks ago.
den we were asking who could draw nicely and stuff..
and i said, " oh! i draw abstract very well..!!"
den that pei yu was screaming away like.. " WTH!!! i also can draw abstract!!! i can draw u a circle and tell u it's a square what!!!!"
(ahah... thanks ah GO PAY YOU)..
so nice of u. lol
with l o v e * 8:10 PM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
the eye candy had a candy girl.
life's pretty good.
with ice-cream, rugby matches..
not to forget, great friends.
life's pretty good.
with ice-cream, rugby matches..
not to forget, great friends.
yeap. great friends accompany us through thick and thin.
i love this bunch of friends. =)
they're great people!
lectures are fun, life at SAJC is getting better.
they encourage me to press on.
i know there is someone who feels empty at this moment.
i'm sorry. it's me..
with l o v e * 9:18 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
wow.
i must say that saturday's service was really powerful and refreshing.
i believe this service with rev benny hinn really renewed my relationship with God.
i feel so dependent on God now.
it's like.. i can't stop thinking about Him and his ways.
this feeling could only be shared with God and i.
it was worth lining up in the hot sun!
i'm prepared to live a life of ur ways.
a life of faith.
give me strength, oh Lord.
with l o v e * 9:50 PM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
i think my cornea was covered or blocked by eye shit for a year la.
i can see clearly now.
after much clensing that is.
i'm so glad.
haha.
=)
no more blindness.
when i look at u now, my heart skips a beat.
and i kena heart attack.
LOL.
with l o v e * 10:49 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
watched the rugby match today. they won cjc!
so scary la.
but we're proud of team sajc!
i think if i was on the field, i would have shrieked my lungs out.
these few weeks are really hectic for me..
lotsa things to handle.
cleared my guzheng exam.
soon it would be the school tests and then exam..
oh man. it never stops.
i just pray that you'll guide me with your grace.
with l o v e * 9:58 PM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
went to a shop at vivo city and it makes bears.
haha. course, i made one for myself!
she's called tooty.
so cute la. haha.
thanks to someone, i gave life to this little bear.
she's made of velvet. expensive ok... wahahah.
anyway.. i'm tired..
as in physically.
the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
i believe i'm stronger now though.
thanks to u.
with l o v e * 9:06 PM
Monday, April 9, 2007
i've seen your true colours.
go feed ur own ego.
i tell u how to see what's ugliness.
go look at the mirror.
u're not only ugly in ur heart, ugly in ur actions, but also ur soul.
ugliness has obscured ur whole face.
i can't see any goodness now.
u're all tinted black in my eyes.
come any nearer and i'll scream in ur face.
seriously.. go feed ur ego until u feel so full and fabulous.
ur actions have shown a lot to me.
u are just plain selfish and u are just living in self-denial.
go on, really, continue with ur lies and acting.
ur dramas can't be globalised though.
i've tolerated enough of your nonsense.
right here, right now.
with l o v e * 8:56 PM
Sunday, April 8, 2007
我有话说不出来
i'm trying to press on.
i'm trying to press on.
with l o v e * 10:06 PM
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
been feeling rather weird while eating these few days.
i guess i'm just too troubled to eat.
i wanna be myself.
i don't know how.
homework coming in faster than before, projects rushing in.
scary.
as i begin to lag behind time, lag behind the whole world, i see myself further away from my goals and aims.
feeling so imbecilic.
stuck in this revolting life for 2 years.
i'm stuck.
with l o v e * 8:28 PM
Monday, April 2, 2007
a friend inspired me to write this post.
hearing their stories... i kinda envied them.
i reflected on my own life and realised that my family isn't that perfect too.
my mum has high -blood pressure and yet i still yell at her. it's wrong of me.
my dad expects perfection out of me.
however, he treats me really nice, at the expense of my siblings.
sometimes... i really wonder whether my siblings hate me or not.
it's complicated.
lotsa problems occuring within my friends' lives.
as i look at mine, i have quite a few too.
there are some things i can never tell anyone in this world.
so this makes life tougher for me..
there are many things i haven't done.
right now, i just wanna get things started right.
i wanna help anyone i can.
just to see them smile, from the heart.
u know, the song on my blog means a lot to me.
"i'm always around u. not letting u walk alone.
my gentleness will accompany u till the end.
i'm not leaving, everytime u're sad.
u hear my gentleness? my silence? "
it used to be said to someone so close to my heart. but now, to every friend.
cherish ur loved ones. really.
with l o v e * 9:57 PM
Sunday, April 1, 2007
我放开手了.
it's time to give up.
i've moved on :)
with l o v e * 8:56 PM
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
DISCLAIMER: this is gonna be a very emotional post.
i don't know what's going on and it seems that i'm in the wrong.
i'm always in the wrong. such that now i don't really care.
one just left me hanging, another thinks i showed hostility or i even used him/her.
what's going on?
i really don't know..
how i wished i really entered hospital.
i really want to just shut myself out from the world.
what's wrong?
what's happening?
i, myself am lost.
no one told me what happened..
am i supposed to take all the blame, all the left overs, just because i hurt u unknowingly?
so much for being friends.
is that the degree of friendship?
if it is, i realise i have better friends than u.
what the fuck did i do wrong?
i seriously feel damn lousy now..
u all don't see the tears flow down.
none of u.
not any. at all.
only my computer screen , my ceiling.
i'm tired.
mentally, psychologically.
ever since last nov, i've been running the race alone.
a race that only i feel the velocity.
God is clocking my time.
is it my fault that i can't reciprocate the same amount of ur love?
i can't believe it. i can't believe i'm in this state out of a sudden.
just stab me please.
i feel so wronged.
been through too much persecution.
tell me please...
with l o v e * 7:54 PM
Sunday, March 25, 2007
in a perfect world
we would never need
to apologise.
we would never speak
a thoughtless word..
or let each other down
or break each other's heart.
love would conquer all,
and happy endings
would be a dime a dozen.
but this isn't a perfect world,
and sometimes,
people learn things the hard way.
we do things
we can't take back,
no matter
how hard we try..
with l o v e * 10:30 PM
i kept trying
kept holding on.
everyday i walk alone,
hoping for u to care for me.
i stare at my phone every hour,
hoping to see ur name appear.
it just never happens.
i'll press on.
till that day comes.
i'll show u what love can do.
in a new environment, a new class.
casherine goh.. i miss u..
i miss ur nonsense.
with l o v e * 8:43 PM
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
i'm going through a rough patch now.
feeling pretty hurt..
u gave me hopes, and took all of them away from me so soon.
blame myself for foolish desires..
i used to think that nothing's unreachable..
u proved me wrong.
no matter how hard i try, how far i reach my hands out,
u're too far for me to hold.
其实早明了
你的爱已随风飘
想要找再也找不到
with l o v e * 10:32 PM
Monday, March 19, 2007
have u ever felt so helpless as though not even God can seem to help u?
i'm feeling that way now.
left hanging..
i wish i was strong enough to fight off that feeling.
u're becoming more and more unreachable each day.
in ur presence, i become stronger.
would u stand by me?
with l o v e * 8:20 PM
Sunday, March 18, 2007
我可以忍受你不够爱我
我可以忍受你遥远的梦
就算是变化挖空我
至少你还在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受做了那么多
使她拥有我该得到的温柔
it's part of a song lyric..
i kinda like this song a lot.. says a lot..
and another song
假装多好
我只要只想要
再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
一直会让我依靠
继续等待
心甘情愿不想逃
i feel as though i'm stucked in between nowhere..
no directions...
anyway.. school is starting tomorrow.. oh man.. i dread it soooo much.
nothing much to blog about... only that.. the march hols was pretty fun. =)
went to library and the pub. lol.
big ben, eng and i
part of w355
OG13
with l o v e * 10:55 PM
Sunday, March 11, 2007
我一直很有自信
平常不怕说出口
但在你身边时候
突然感觉好害羞
boy u make me so shy
everytime u walk by
怎么我会变这样
身体不听我的
从没有过这感觉
情绪失去控制
dont know what u do to me
i just know it feels right
never felt this way
like i'm outta control
不知道不知道
为什么对你说
喜欢你说不出口
好想跟你表白
好想跟你表白
为什么为什么
不知道怎么说
喜欢你说不出口
好想跟你表白
好想跟你表白
hey boy how ya doing
wussup girl i'm doing good
想要告诉你一件事情
i don't know if i should
没有关系说吧
不要想太多啦
我要让你知道
that i wanna be your girl
一直想要问你
想不想rock my world
wah!怎么这样
你打动我的心
我整个feel like im outta control
不知道不知道
为什么对你说
喜欢你说不出口
好想跟你表白
好想跟你表白
为什么为什么
不知道怎么说
喜欢你说不出口
with l o v e * 11:49 PM
with l o v e * 1:00 AM
To love someone deeply gives you strength.
Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
cool phrase yeah?
haha.. well. been having orientation for the past few days! OG13 ROCKS!
haha.. met lotsa nice and cool people. we really bonded together. nice =)
lots of fun moments and disco night was damn high.
anyway... tried on my SAJC uniform and i look weird. haha.. oh well.
gonna have a fun week before school term officially starts.
oh man.. i hope i don't get stressed out.
the feeling to love caught me by surprise
why you?
are u reading this?
it's so real it just hurts so bad.
with l o v e * 12:33 AM
Sunday, March 4, 2007
i suddenly thought of sharing the word of God on my blog during service.. and yeah, here it is.
1 corinthians 13:4-8 }
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
i think many of us fail to love. that includes me..
we go about rushing through our busy lives and forget about loving others.
be it our parents, our friends, our leaders or our other half.
sometimes, we have to express care and concern to the ones we love.
we can't just be hi-bye friends.
every relationship is worth more than that.
come to think of it, are some out there treating their parents like hi-bye friends?
u see them in the morning and greet them.. u head to school/work, and by the time u're back, they may be asleep or u'll just say "hey, i'm home" and head to ur room..
saddening for such a scene.
i feel like a small girl
waiting for u to protect me
to shower me with ur care
with l o v e * 1:39 PM
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
i haven't been blogging huh.
life's pretty boring these days! =)
recently, i've been able to attend cell group and service. great feeling i must say..
went to sentosa with some church friends on sunday.. alamah... kena sun burn. haha. pretty bad though.
but it was fun! haha.. we should spend more time together..
very soon, the posting results would be out.
i dread going to jc.. i hope i'm the suay-iest of all to not get in..
i know going jc would mean less time for myself, less time for church..
and all the time in my world for studying.
however, no matter where i end up, i'm gonna study real hard.
no more regrets next time.
whatever it is, i MUST have a placing at SMU.
yeah.. wanna bring glory to the Ma family.
my dad has been emphasizing on that since the o levels results were out.
u came into my life
with unspoken thoughts
tell me,
tell them to me
i wanna know how u feel
i can't find a direction now
it's u i want
but how?
are u willing to take my hands and lead me forever?
with l o v e * 12:08 AM
Monday, February 12, 2007
celebrated my birthday with a treat from trevor.
at maritus mandarin! =)
buffet la.. haha. thanks budd!
took some pics at joshua's house. this is one of em.
i find this cute.
oh man. i'm working on valentine's day... i requested for morning shift.
besides... no valentine, so might as well earn money.
there are just too many things for me to do...
i wanna head out to sentosa soon.. i wanna head to the beach..
i don't know why.. but i just have the urge to go overseas to study... there are just too much for me to let go.
too much for me to think over here.
with l o v e * 12:04 AM
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
i wish for many things on this day.
this special day for me.
most importantly, i wish for growth in the kingdom of God.
this is the day i'm given life, by Him.
this is the day i'm gonna start.
it's time.
this will be my prayer.
Father, take me with you and be my guide.
i witnessed a miracle by Him. a miracle that only i, can feel the joy of it.
thank you Lord.
please continue guiding me with your grace.
I Love You.
with l o v e * 11:31 AM
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
zhi xuan, trevor and i went to marina square after work yesterday. (sunday)
yeah. we went to Changing Appetites to eat. nice nice. =)
this is zhi xuan and i
after dinner, we went to esplanade and sat there for a while.
this is my favourite place. fullerton hotel.
the place where i wanna hold my wedding dinner.
the place where i await that guy. haha
alright! i'm awaiting my birthday and valentine's day.
i wonder what's gonna happen..
heading out with eng to shop tomorrow. yay!
it's been a while since i went with cg members.
ciao
with l o v e * 12:22 AM
Sunday, February 4, 2007
well.. the past week has been pretty fun.
i'll let the pictures do some of the talking.
these are on 2nd feb. lotsa funny incidents during the party.
cosplay!
trevor, joshua and i spent many crazy moments.
btw.. this is joshua, one of my close friends.
here are some scandalous pics. lol. (acting only la)
eh eh eh.. take note please, these pics are all just posed pics.
brokeback
scandal 1
scandal 2
scandal 3
love at first sleep. lol
yeah... haha.. these are the funny pics. forgot to take pics of the whole group who came. ooops!
anyway.. it was fun.. cash, vera, trev and joshua stayed over at my place. drank ice wine and we couldn't sleep until about 3 am. lol..
five of us squeezed onto two beds. (lesson learnt: dont do that again)
anyway... gonna blog very soon again. more pics!
good night and take care peeps
with l o v e * 11:20 PM
Thursday, January 25, 2007
well , as usual, i've been working..
recently... someone sent me a surprise to taka.
a bouquet of flowers without name.
haaha.. sweet.
been heading out with good friends these few weeks..
after work... maybe go drink a while or we'll just spend time slacking around.
haha.. thanks!
anyway.. i realised something good.
though i keep missing service and cell group, i have a colleague who is a christian and we exchange verses and stories in the bible.. really meaningful. at least God is not depriving my soul of food.
ps: thanks for the message in the bottle [s]
with l o v e * 11:30 PM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i miss so many people.. aw.
haha. well.. the feeling's great to chat up with some friends that we've lost contact with.
life's good. really learnt a lot of things from friends i've got to know..
i guess... it's time for me to forget about him. it's time to start over again.
sometimes.. i really wish i don't know anything about his life. but.. the truth just keeps slamming onto me.
his life.. his relationshipswith other girls..
i realised how foolish i was to think that i could die for him.. when he doesn't even bother.
傻到无可救药..
i am moving on.
cheers!
with l o v e * 8:41 PM
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
well. many things have happened.
made a lot of new friends. haha.
work has been quite fun. hee. takashimaya has many nice people.
can't wait for 20th and 26th. hope he'll do well.
been drinking quite a lot the past months. well.. i know it's bad, but it's the festive season! haha.
it's been so long.. but i don't know why it still hurts. i try to forget about it, but those moments keep appearing.
though i have close friends encouraging me and accompanying me through the night.. it aches at the place where he was once so close.
haha. oh well. i believe He will give me the strength when i need it.
currently working at taka tommy hilfiger. come find me and i'll be super happy.
thanks to those who came and even accompanied me for dinner. haha.
shawn.. if u're reading this, smile! haha. and continue scolding the callers. will come find u soon! await the surprise!
joshua! be confident of urself yeah. haha. u go dude. style ur hair again some day! whahaa.
casherine goh! haha. happy not.. went to see u during work. haha. love ya still.
a new beginning.
kinda miss many friends whom i lost contact with.
ki wo tsukete.
not working on 4th and 7th of feb. birthday outing anyone?
with l o v e * 8:19 PM
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Working at Tommy is getting more fun. Meet alot of friends over there.
The new year is coming, and i hope to have a better year ahead.
Though many of you tell me to move on, it's still quite difficult for me to let it all go. I know very well that he's still somewhere in my heart.
Many interesting event have happened.
To shawn:
Thanks for all your surprises. Really glad to see you again.
with l o v e * 12:02 AM
Saturday, December 9, 2006
Today, i went for service.
Well, it felt alright.
I believe time will heal.
Though it hurt to hear some things from friends, i know i will see with my own eyes next time.
Today's make-up cell group and service were very meaningful.
Heading to work tomorrow. Well, work isn't that tiring anymore.
Lots of things have happened, i guess this is part of fufilling my destiny.
There are certain things best not to be said.
But i know i've become a stronger person.
with l o v e * 11:44 PM
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Give me the courage to live.
with l o v e * 12:00 AM
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Oh. I'm gonna start work at tommy hilfiger this saturday at taka. Taking the afternoon shift.
I decided to let time heal. I hope working would stop me from thinking too much.
with l o v e * 11:42 PM
Monday, November 27, 2006
the day i gonna stop waiting the necklace would be the day i'm gonna stop waiting for him.
with l o v e * 12:56 AM
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
read some ppl's blog.. well.. i guess i ain't fit to be a friend at all..
i very much wanna be mature and grow up... and not do anything that make anyone unhappy.
i don't wanna be like a childish girl ranting all day long... but i cant help it.. please understand.
how much i wanna care.. u don't wanna accept it..
my name wasn't mentioned at all.... not a single "michelle" in ur posts....
why..
went to MOS last night.. perhaps the last meeting?
it felt really comforting when for those few seconds, ur hand was on my waist.
cry to sleep every night..
knelt and begged for answers... but nothing struck me..
only this verse..
" there is a time for everything"
is this the time to part?
i wanna do many things with him...
loving him.. holding his hand.. looking at him..
i need his protection..
i really need him a lot.
u know... everytime i look at u on tuesday, u seem to be smsing away..
to her... i can't help but cry.. why can u sms her and not me...
why..
i really wanna know..
throughout the day, i told myself not to look anymore... i couldn't..
everytime i forced myself not to, i cried..
it's difficult.
talk about dying,
i feel like to.. but..
i don't wanna...
i realise.. if i really did die some day,
i wouldn't be able to see u anymore..
wouldn't be able to watch out for u.
wouldn't be able to just do things for u.
as our cell group is multiplying,
i really hope that we'll still be in the same cell together..
for now... i hope to be ur friend.. till u're ready.
u asked me whether i can wait..
yes i am.
really hope to spend our one year anniversary together..
i'm breaking down each day.. just hoping to see u and talk to u.
u made me fall so hard..
so hard that i can't get up alone..
i need you to hold my hand.. and tell me i'm yours again.
with l o v e * 1:15 PM
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Yesterday's performance was smooth.
Today wasn't.
I guess this time is really the last chance ba.
But i lost it already.
I thought tuesday would be a very memorable day for me, but i guess i have to spend it alone.
with l o v e * 9:49 PM
Monday, October 23, 2006
here are some photos first.
timothy and i
yuhan, cash, i and mich sab
wan chin and i
bao xian and i
kun ying and i
singwoon and i
with l o v e * 10:36 AM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
was pretty bored studying away..
and so i went to draw stuffs...
lol.
and my dad saw...
haha.
he asked, " are u studying or anyhow? "
lol. cute sentence right!?
these are 2 pics took today morning.
with l o v e * 10:08 PM
here are the pics. haha. more to come.
with l o v e * 3:59 PM
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
cam whored with the girls today. haha
friday's nearing... means graduation day is.. aw.
the feeling's gonna be kinda sad..
wo bu she de!
the times we spent together in class...
we did many stupid things la.
pon-ning pe lesson.
making teachers pissed.
keeping quiet and not answering the teachers.
being spastic.
shouting in class.
those fun times.. there won't be anymore.
4e3'06 consists of 42 girls and boys.
31 girls and 11 boys.
one FT. Tan Gim Hua
gonna miss the class so badly.
i realised.. that they make up my life too.
the joy of studying together.. learning as a class.
as each and every one of us move on to different institutions, we part.
at least we all know, our paths crossed.
we came into the same class since sec3 and our relationship was built since.
those fun times, i will remember. =)
i feel very glad to get such friends.
because i know they are always there, for me.
whenever i came into the class in the morning.. with eyes swollen, face looking sad, the closer ones would know something is wrong.
i know they know what's going on. i thank u all. ur acknowledgement is enough.
with l o v e * 5:24 PM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
nanyang poly is huge la.
and it has many fronts..
and i had a super difficult time finding places. lame shit.
saw some friends from ajc eating there.
haha.
macs was super hot la..
but it was fun.
the ppl there are funny la.
we went to classrooms to see if they were empty. go in sleep. lol.
finally, our destination was some club room. haha.
lotsa freebies. go there kope.
hmm. but. since year 3's have their attachments at the start of the semester, it means that my presence in nyp is a waste. so. ngee ann here i come. =)
aw.
today there was no school. so is thurs.
so yeah. thurs maybe going down again ba. see whether that person's gonna call me down or not.
ok. just some random pics that i find nice.
the only thing i can do. lol
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this was sec 3 la. look at that ass face of mine. and casherine's asleep.
how i wish to see u on the 17th.
take my hand,
bring me away.
with l o v e * 3:01 PM
Friday, October 13, 2006
this post is dedicated to my dad, though he will never see this.
papa, actually.. i love u a lot. i wanna care for u.
wanna do things for u.
but ur stern demeanour just deters me from doing so.
as i heard u coughing away, my heart ached.
i prayed that God would make u feel better.
i see u doing so many things for me..
it saddens me.
u're sixty plus and still doing things for me.
i'm truly touched and i really appreciate it a lot.
i'll never take u for granted anymore.
i'll appreciate u asking me to eat more..
i'll appreciate u asking me to study..
i'll appreciate u wanting to fetch me home from school everyday..
i'll appreciate everything u've done for me.
i realised u've been very patient with me..
but forgive me for my rebellion.
i realised that i need u ever so much.
i thank u and mummy for bringing me into this world despite being 9 years away from sis and 13 years away from bro.
because of what u've done for me, i wanna prove that i'm worthy of ur sacrifices.
i promise whoever that reads this post that i will start studying very hard for olevels and score distinctions for u.
trust me.
i wanna thank someone who told me before that i was taking my parents for granted.
he is so true.
i never truly appreciated them before.
i focused my love and energy on the wrong things.
papa, mummy,
i will get a business degree and bring the company to greater heights.
i must let the two of u enjoy life.
btw... know what does family mean?
it means Father And Mother, I Love You.
with l o v e * 8:25 PM
Thursday, October 12, 2006
today is a fruitful day!
haha.
i mopped the floor,
wiped the floor with a cloth (using my bare hands) =) ,
replaced the dustbins,
for all floors.
AND
washed the clothes,
ironed them,
ALSO
studied.
hee. felt like i lost some weight.
wahaha.. but yeah.. i realised my arms are more toned now.
YAY!
tmr is gonna be a long long day. until.... 9p.m
(lose weight!)
yeah.. lose more kilos.
but of course.. not at some body parts.. heheheee
alright.
i'm gone.
with l o v e * 6:08 PM
Sunday, October 8, 2006
last night, went for church and was supposed to go to vivocity to eat with cell group de.. but i got a headache. my head was so heavy that it could dig a hole in the ground la.
so i went home. -.-"
sian..
today morning, had tuition at 8a.m. gosh. that's early la.
den afternoon went out.
at queenstown, i lost my way while finding my grandma's house.
lol.
and that area is seriously infested with tikos la.
damn scary.
they look.. stare... come so near that i just wanna scream at them.
this time, when i turned around.. no one was there to protect me.
finally reached her place after a long and tiring search.
went there to eat biscuits and drink ribena!
was pretty hungry. hee.
i was supposed to bring her home with me.
so she could accompany me.. lol
(my parent's idea)
but oh well. it was nice after all. she cooked dinner for me..
tmr most prob i would stay out late. at school.. or maybe somewhere studying.
the laptop is just too tempting for me.
oh. this reminds me. i've yet to complete a composition on temptation.
seesh.
anyway.. hai.
one more month!
just one more month!
17th nov 2006!
i'm gonna enjoy myself on that night la. =)
people.. please bring me out!
bring me along to parties.. to bars.. to pubs. wahha.
take me to the nightlife.
i wanna head to clarke quay and fullerton!!!
the feelings rekindled upon the meet.
i still can feel the shyness in me when our eyes met.
it won't do to keep dreaming of u
i feel like a fool burning my own shoes.
the pain is fueling the flame.
can't u see that my soul is screaming for u
some say that time can heal the pain and snuff my desire
and when the seasons come and go, u just feel so tired.
all the rituals of denial
fades the memory of the genuine smile.
remember how u used to give that silly smile?
with l o v e * 7:49 PM
Saturday, October 7, 2006
the night is still young. lol
well.. parents are overseas ma. hehe.. no curfew! except for my sis telling me to get home earlier
hehe.
went for piano.
went to meet my god bro, wenxing.
hai.
brother, if u're reading this.. go get her alright!
haha. u know.. sometimes girls just wanna know that u care for them.
girls wanna feel that they have someone to turn to.
so if u're there for her...
yeah.. hehe
she'll find comfort in u.
don't give up ok?
haha. enjoyed the chat at starbucks with u.
well. do eat even if ur appetite isn't there..
and study well to get into TP.
ok. change topic.
recently.. there's this neh thing about someone commenting that cash and i are lesbians.
lol. that is damn hilarious please.
omg. yeah.. like we suck each other's face in school?
like we hold hands and hug?
open ur eyes wide u dipsy.
I AM STRAIGHT.
must i call some guy down and hug him in front of school?
that's so funny i can't stop laughing whenever i think about it la.
oh. i suppose tomorrow's gonna be fun.
ok.. tmr meaning saturday. look at the time now.. it's past 12.
gonna be at expo by 3.30.
hmm.. i wonder what to do from 12 to 3..
oh please... i wanna head to town..
i wanna get bra straps! wahaha.
or maybe i should head to the airport to study?
=)
at night.. it would most probably be dinner with the cell.
and den... heheeheee...
*grins*
(actually i haven't decided yet.)
i wanna go geylang and see the happenings. hehe.
or maybe just stroll along clarke quay!
oh. the night's gonna be fun.
i wish.
with l o v e * 12:30 AM
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
blog hopped for a while just now. haha.
read about different people's life.
really read about lots of things about them.
their love life... studies.. family.
well.. i guess we students can't escape these three things in our life now.
oh. this weekend would be so fun.
my parents are going overseas! wahaha.. finally! after so long..
well.. haven't really thought of the plans yet.
but guess it would be fun! =)
n levels gonna end... and o levels are coming... oh no.. no time.. no time..
my dad just hinted me to go to a jc. wtf.
no no no! bu yao!
i thought of vjc or sajc.... lol. BUT. nah.. no jc for me.
ate char siew bao for dinner. hehee..
u know the feeling of envy?
i read a blog of someone's bf.
lol.
he was proclaiming his love for her there.
and really saying sweet thoughts out..
SWEET~
it's been so long...
ha. oh well.
wanna focus on geog and chem and ss/hist.
oh no. from next week onwards, it would be hectic for us.
i think we would have ssps almost everyday.
NOOOooo!
oh. that cai lao shi say our hcl class of students are cows.
wa lau.
does that mean she can milk me?
LOL!
hee =)
the scars are so ugly.
with l o v e * 9:12 PM
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
keep waking up at 4am these few nights. it's become a habit now.
i thought it was due to some nightmare or something... but.. it wasn't..
i just kept on thinking that my phone would have a message or a missed call. well.. nothing.
it's always at around 4am. i just open my eyes. just like that!
and i just lie on my bed, before feeling for my hp around my body. yeah. my hp's always somewhere on my bed.
my phone was silent.. no msgs. no missed calls.
sometimes, it's just a matter of being used to it.
it's been long enough...
it's time i learnt to get used to it.
u know.. there are lots of things i just wanna say to u... but u aren't there..
do u know how much have happened to me within these few days..
u don't...
with l o v e * 5:52 PM
Sunday, October 1, 2006
hai.
i've decided on how should i choose the poly i'm going to le.
(it's secret) =)
u know.. it's funny how love works..
the one u love don't reciprocate the love to u.
the one u don't love, loves u like crazy.
and worst is. how interesting when we end up in a love triangle or square or pentagon. lol
love's a game i can never seem to win.
never at all.
haha. how time goes by and we miss out wonderful people who came into our lives just as a "keh leh feh". oh btw. how do u spell that as? calife? calefe?
how disappointing it is to see how time changes people's character..
especially when it's turning towards the bad side..
but someone told me that isn't called change.
it's called showing one's true colours.
haha. brilliant way of saying it..
*clap clap clap*
every relationship is bound to encounter ups and downs.. but.. how can one experience it almost everyday?
haha. it's a profound question i've yet to solve.
with l o v e * 2:28 PM
Friday, September 29, 2006
came across this short bulletin in friendster. i find it kind of weird but sweet la.
One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it."Without your love, I would die."
ha. aww. sweet isn't it.
had piano today. and went out for dinner with mummy! we went to eat Italian and drank wine!
wahaha. oh.
as we were on the road home.. a sudden thought came to my mind la. very random.
on the bridge outside fullerton hotel. and a guy who admires u pops out with a bouquet of roses and presents it to u.. telling u he loves ya. oh~ it's damn romantic la.
oh no.. my results.. i'm afraid to tell parents about it.. would they stop me from going church... bu yao!
with l o v e * 9:51 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
so many things to think about,
so many things to worry about,
so many things to do.
do u know?
do u know i'm struggling over here...
i was in front of u.. waiting for u to pick me up and help me.
but there u are.. on the other side of the island.
so screwed with life.
prelims sucked big i tell u.
baoxian reminded me of death when she said she was gonna jump down suntec. lol. crazy woman.
my nose bled this afternoon. oh no! i have leukemia!
=)
haha. who knows.. maybe i will.. some other freakin diesease.
but oh well. nose bleeding isn't a bad thing after all! =P haha.. some people could just jump out of their seat to see if u're alright.. aww. such caring ppl around huh. wahaha.
i need someone to lead me on.. just be by my side.. telling me what to do... and how to go about doing it.
maybe God is the one.. but sometimes, i just keep feeling that i have to do this on my own and do Him proud.
I'M SAD..
hate a maths. omg... eeeee... but, hai.. i love geog but end up still like that.
i don't care. i'm gonna score at least A2 for geog in o levels. hmph. neh.
YUCK!!! feeling so pissed..
the truth that drops a tear is always better than a lie that draws a smile.
with l o v e * 7:44 PM
Monday, September 25, 2006
had school till 4.30 today. pretty tiring. inova jc gave us a talk and had physics practical later on. sian.
i had hoped for a miracle..
a miracle that never came.
ha. oh well. some people may be able to live a life without caring about anyone else.
kept on tearing.
lucky the bus was pretty empty.
but, luckily, tomorrow and wed we're off early! haha.
yay!
but. what's the point.
kept waking up constantly last night.. wishing a call came.
a sound was heard. once
sleepless night yesterday. yawn. gonna have tuition later at 8. omg.
kill me.
rip me apart.
friends asked if there was anything wrong.
"nah.. just a line from a song."
don't wanna remind myself of it.
u know, u need not replace ur loved one just because u can never love her the same way.
sometimes, it's just called sacrifice.
or perhaps, forever love.
i don't believe in such a thing anymore.
don't be naive.
it's just a promise meant to make a girl happy, and when she is, it becomes a lie, like a knife, plunging into her heart.. making her bleed to death.
hold me in ur arms,
squeeze me tight,
and show me,
u love me too.
put ur head on my shoulder,
whisper in my ear,
words i wanna hear.
i'm learning to be strong.
just got to hide everything inside.
where inside is bleeding hard.. with more scars to come.
it all started with a movie.
ended with nothing.
with l o v e * 5:27 PM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
the dream felt so real. haha. as though someone was really there.
really very weird dream. it's as though it would come true. ha..
it's about this girl. she saw this guy at a restaurant.
they obviously know each other. but the guy didn't want to acknowledge her.
they haven't seen each other for years and he changed his hairstyle and looked older. but she was still the same her.
she approached him. but even with the presence of his family members, he declined to talk to her. the girl den walked away.
then, suddenly, the scene changed and it was his birthday. surprisingly, she was invited. and somehow. she went there empty handed. lol.
guess what. there were bouncers at the door. ticking the names of the guests. after she was let in, she went to explore his house.
he wasn't seen anywhere. finally, she found him in the kitchen. at the sink vomiting or something. he turned around. and the girl just stood there with a smile.
he walked past her, without saying a word and walked straight to his room. she followed.
soon after she was in his room. he sat down in front of his com. and suddenly, he stood up and gave her a hug!
omg. the girl cried la. she couldn't believe it.
den. the scene changed again. this time, it was at a foot of the mountain. the girl happened to be in some trouble. there were weird things after her. she was just running away, crying and screaming. the guy happened to pass by in his car. the moment he saw a glimpse of her, he came down and ran after her.
den somehow, he held her hand and saved her from those funny things. and gave her a hug again.
ok. that's the end. the dream was interrupted by a phone call from my mum asking me to go to the market. wa lau.
gonna slack at home today. and start work from tomorrow onwards. yay!
with l o v e * 11:27 AM
Friday, September 22, 2006
ok.. i realised.. o levels end on 17th nov..
and the performance is on the 18th nov! haha. lame shit..
aw. why can't it end earlier. so long.. but anyway. haha.. 17th nov.. i'm going crazy!! go clarke quay not go home till morning. lol.
whee whee!
today, the sec4es went to macritchie and some classes went to botanical gardens. e3 went to BG. haha. it was fun. had so much fun la. aww.
what is that la.. lol
haha. pretty swan.
guess today's the last day we gotta rest before the prelim results start flooding us.
aw. it's gonna be another 2 more months to freedom from monday onwards.
ouch.. i've fallen ill. and this morning's rain at botanical gardens made it worse. down with fever. oh no. the throats itching and cough is so mean. i sound like a horse la. "neigh..."
with l o v e * 10:35 PM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
tmr school's gonna end at 10.15am.!
haha. sweet.
and thursday, there's no school for me!
rejoice! lol
yay. so happy. finally can take a break for a while before one last lap to o's. oh my oh my. hehee.
friday we're going to mac ritchie in the morning for some nature's trail.. what the...
nvm. gotta move my body. have been sitting in front of the table for long enough.
haha. today's e math p2 was nice. i'm pretty confident of it. yay. praise the lord! lalala. cause i prayed before doing it. =)
i can sense the passion diminishing away.
it's blurred presence is so strong..
oh well.
what more can i ask for?
nth.
going on a diet. haha.
why? only u know.
trying to save money too.
i'm gonna get that bag at heeren la.
haven't been to town for long. wonder if it's still there.
aw. it's a nice bag. BIG. lol.
with l o v e * 9:20 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
prelims gonna end on wed. and i need not attend school on thursday. don't have any papers on that day. whee whee.
haha. hope i need not rot at home..
i've realised that relationships are full of ups and downs.
ha. always thought of the perfect "u love me, i love u, we are happy." kind of fairytale.
but yeah.. it isn't.
usually.. there's a honeymoon period where both see perfection in each other.. once it's over, the quarrels start coming, the mean words and actions just fills the relationship.
it's difficult to tell someone to cherish u.
and it's also difficult to cherish someone once u've lost em.
they may never come back... never at all.
just wanna say.. don't take too long to say "i love you" to the ones u love..
listened to a song.. and yeah. touched my heart..
u never know when your loved ones will go.
in just a few secs, she could be knocked down by a reckless driver.
how fragile life is.
another thing i realised.. is to..
never take friends and family members around u for granted.
they may be insignificant in ur life, but, somehow,
i believe they still play a part in ur life.
taken so many ppl around me for granted.
feeling so terrible now.
u know.. it's the feeling of wanting to say sorry, but time just passes so quickly that i just can't bring myself to.
time changes everything.. usually..
as time passes, ppl grow up..
ppl grow old..
but sometimes, they'll never be the same person u once knew.
with l o v e * 9:09 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
oh! it's friday! and all the chim papers are over! yay!
haha. oh no. i can't wait. just less than 2 more months!! ahaha.
whee whee.
didn't really study hard for prelims at all.. even slacker than mock prelims..
cause i thought i would be going to poly..
BUT... if i need to go jc in the end... i'm gonna be so screwed.. haah
hey ppl.. NYP or Ngee Ann?
i'm afraid NP is too far.. but.. NYP doesn't seem good for business..
oh no..
haha. but most importantly, poly life for me.
don't wanna mugg as hard for a levels. no no.
but i did think of going vjc (that is provided i can even get in...)
lol. that jc very happening. haha. yeah. maybe those going jc may consider. but it's at east coast la.. so far.. neh
gonna mugg real hard for o levels le. i've decided, that i don't wanna cry on the day the results are released. i mean.. at least cry for happiness la..
i believe our batch can do it. yeah.
it came to a point when the night was so silent.
too silent.. such that it scares.
kept crying. i kept listening to that tune i came up with on the piano..
it really was a composition that touched my heart.
i will go crazy at around 4+5 on the 16th nov. haha
oh. the piano performance is on 17th nov. confirm le. and they're selling tics!!
wahhaa.. do come show support la. hee.
with l o v e * 8:59 PM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
guess this would be the last post until prelims end.
woke up this morning, feeling so different.
no words seemed to fill me.
i talked lesser.
i feel different..
i felt like nothing.
YONG YOU JIU HAO.
with l o v e * 9:49 PM
just felt like posting some random pics. yeah. trying to destress myself from all the studying. haha. enjoy~
my cosy lil corner
yeah. the stacks of books explain it all
collection of hello kittys and other stuffs
my cousin and i
constance and i
the pic explains it all.
flute section
with l o v e * 12:58 AM
Saturday, September 9, 2006
haha. a friend of mine talked to me till late at night recently.
well. if u're reading this, thanks.
well.. he talked me into truths..
but.. it's hard on me.
oh well. i know i have sisters and brothers there for me. hee
thanks sheilina!
u see.. simple actions of them having concern for me just lits up my face.
haha. well.. i can simply say, i love the house of God.
silly how ppl threaten to die.
haha.
those ppl sure ain't mature.
alright.. i'm talking about myself.
haha. but oh well. i promise, no more next time.
i still wanna be a business woman yeah.
a loving homemaker would be nice too.
two kids.. a girl and boy.. running about the house,
shouting, "mummy! mummy! come catch us"
haha.. aww...
i'll be waiting to hold my wedding dinner at fullerton.
oh no.. i love that place so much..
well.. know why i'm fine now?
cause God talked to me.
haha.
i was switching the tv channels.. feeling so dead and all of em seemed so boring. until!
until i reached channel5, where this woman was talking about difficulties in life.
so zhun la!
the first sentence i heard that made me stay on that channel was, " we just have to wait for the storm to pass. "
ahh.. that sentence was so comforting.
and i listened on. and she mentioned something about, "difficulties are sometimes created by ourselves"
and yeah.. had great takeaways from that show.
i find myself so stupid suddenly..
that i prayed to God to take me home.
as i prayed.. the tears came down hard.
but.. eee. no.
i realised.. after yesterday's testimonial session at the bbq,
that everyone have their own trials and tribulations,
just that.. we have to press on, with faith, knowing that God will bring us through it all.
i stand by this sentence which i came across it years ago,
"if God brings u to it, He will bring u through it."
with l o v e * 11:56 AM
Thursday, September 7, 2006
i just thought we were meant to be,
but i guess now we'll never know.
i want you to know that i'm always in your heart,
the place closest to u..
with l o v e * 11:33 PM
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
had a nightmare last night i guess. just opened my eyes and i sort of screamed.
not the.. "ahhh...." kind of scream. but the "ah!" kind of scream. yeah..
maybe that's not scream, that's.. exclaimed.
yeah. haha. dreamt of someone.. i knew why i had that dream.
haha. but oh well. i should get along with my life too.
went to ben's house to study with zhen guo, qi xuan, aaron, jerry and tian long.
haha. it was fun. laughter.
dont wanna mention what happened towards the end, but. all ends well.
yeah. haha.
"disgusting girl."
lol. *winks*
thanks for the ice cream! or i would really have bitten ur head off.
haha. ooops.
ok. so. guess everything's died down.
it should, after 24hours.
gonna mug till late tonight. i hope. lol.
i plan to. (notice, the word is, PLAN)
haha. i wanna get a favourite mug too!
like constance. haha. she says she's happy when she drinks from her favourite mug.
i wanna be happy too! lol
WE should get the same mugs. haha.
crap.
piano concert on 17th nov!
haha.. hai.
what a date.
when ppl are out there celebrating, i'm in front of the piano, blindly running through the bloody 12 paged song. mind u.. 12 page. my fingers have no stamina for that. lame neh.
haha.. i feel so happy o's are nearing.
it means the days to end of o levels are nearing!!
i'm gonna stay out late at night, learn dancing, and spend time moulding clay.
hehe.
those are my faves.
dance!
guess i can't learn salsa now.
oh well.
but, hey!
i realised dancing made me smile.
lol.
wanna share a lame thing that i always do.
when i'm drying my hair with the hair dryer, or combing my hair, or just loooking into the mirror, (with some dance song blasting in the background), i will dance in front of the mirror la! lol. when i walk home with my mp3 playing some dance song, i keep smiling and i feel confident. haha.
nice feeling.
oh. gotta save money.. seesh
oh no.. why can't i be some rich spoilt brat..
haha. JUST JOKING! nah.. no more. not that thought anymore.
i love the friends i have!
hee
just wanna proclaim. is it proclaim? yeah..
with l o v e * 9:18 PM
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
bereft of hope
with l o v e * 11:52 PM
Sunday, September 3, 2006
watched the president's charity show.
aww.. felt lots in me.
there was a part on singapore poly presenting a musical on the theme "superstar".
haha.
at that instant, scenes flashed across my mind.
was having glimpses of being glamorous. lol
crap.
anyway.. still, i felt a lot.
i thought about how i entered fullerton, trying to act like some high-class lady, thinking about how i strolled along clarke quay. it would be long till i visit that area again. hahas.
certain memories have been deleted from our lives, be it unknowingly, or purposely.
i guess.. the memories would be kept somewhere in the mind, or if lucky, the heart..
but somewhere where it wouldn't be found again. (if that is what u want)
some people judge with tainted glasses.
no doubt, someone may offend u or treat u like crap in the past.
but i realised, as long as that person has changed, everything would be different.
sometimes, u just gotta open up ur heart, and accept the changes.
u will feel better. u will feel happier, maybe bouncier (like raw salmon)
hahas. weird.
gonna learn flourishing from ulric. haha.
to me, it's a way of reminicing.(is that the way to spell it?)
what a way to remember ppl in our lives.
there was this friend of mine, maybe not now. i don't know.
sHe's great in these kind of things.
certain irritatable actions of mine drove her away. haha. oops.
but, the doors to fullerton is always open! haha.
ok. weird post huh.
anyway, gotta head to school tmr. haha. with singwoon! that woman. she's damn funny la.
oh. 4e3 is great. haha. nice ppl in it.
special thanks to casherine goh. that neh.
wan chin
cynthia
tricia
xi en
miic
singwoon
wendy
fang bi
shuqian
elwyn
mich sab
yuhan
si hui
thanks to these ppl, my sec 4 life is not so scary. haha. we're so crazy in class la.
some with lame jokes,
some with lame actions,
some with lame expressions.
some with spastic faces,
some with cute skin colour.
and someone with an irritating character. yes casherine goh, it's u. LOL.
haha. no la. I LOVE YOU! hehe. kiss me for being so nice. =)
enough of lesbianism.
i've learnt not to take people for granted. i really know now.
and trust me, it's true that others will do unto u what u did unto them.
u will feel exactly what they felt at that time.
i've learnt my lesson. haha. tough one.
so.. what goes around, comes around.
fullerton is a nice place yeah? haha.
romantic, classy and fairytale-like.
my dream place to hold my wedding. hopefully they don't go bankrupt before i hit 25.
ya. and they better not.
esplanade is nice too. i love that area. many moments there huh. fireworks, library, the bridge.
wow. LOVELY.
just a sudden thought to share..
sometimes, it's too late to learn to cherish when something is really gone for forever.
maybe u can argue saying i will only learn to cherish when i've lost something.
but hey, stop and think.
when u've lost it, there's only 5% it might come back.
1% that u can have it in it's original condition.
oh. he's gonna enter WCG. haha. jia you. go win something and let me hao lian la. hehe
ooops. hee =)
glad u came into my life
glad u changed me
glad there was u
when the night
went silent.
with l o v e * 10:32 PM
Saturday, September 2, 2006
hee. let the pictures say everything
this is terence. ghey.. X)
went for service today. praise the Lord! hee.
talked about managing money between husband and wife.
most importantly,
#1. keep records
a) what u own
b) what u owe
c) what u earn
d) where the $$ goes
#2. plan my spending
- don't spend on impulse
- have a budget
#3. enjoy what u already have
#4. reduce debts quickly
- the best way is to use debit card. instead of credit cards
#5. work hard in ur job
- the harder u work, the more influential u become
#6. give tithe faithfully and on time
#7. give ur best offerings
haha. pretty enriching though i'm not married.
taught us how to save money and gain more.
i remember jeremiah telling me this before, "do not let the offering basket pass without u doing anything."
hahas. since then, i've been remembering it in my heart. let my actions speak.
i feel so small, yet significant in the house of God. this is where i grow spiritually.
one really has to come experience it him or herself.
the love is just so overwhelming.
*************************
thanks for those moments
it made my day
the words u spoke
the friendly touch
just made me feel like
i'm urs, once again
with l o v e * 10:07 PM
Friday, September 1, 2006
cash, thanks for that post yeah. haha.
love ya! hee.
well. i will press on.
i will, unconditionally.
to me, unconditional love means
keep giving
keep loving
continue pressing on
just for you.
u heard me?
haha. being emo here.
simple smses.. showing u care.
simple actions.. showing u love.
that's all.
love needs courage.
aww.. saw my senior's blog. and my senior's bf's blog. lol.
they had the same skin. aww.
sweet la.
envious.
crap.
return me my past.
all of a sudden.
i don't feel like moving on.
i wanna head back to the past,
where it was so perfect.
oh Lord, just let me stay there.
the memories are flooding me.
though my memory is bad, those special moments seem to be at the back of my head. and now, they're gushing out. how they yearn to face the world.
how i yearn they would.
with l o v e * 5:09 PM
Thursday, August 31, 2006
funny how fast time goes by when we're in need of em.
i've moved on. u should too.
i thank u for what u've done for me.
i thank u for ur care.
since that girl caught ur eye, maybe she's the one.
go for her and don't look back.
for u'll only get hurt.
however, do keep our memoirs.
it's great to keep records of ur life's happenings.
good luck my dear friend.
remember the tel. booth when it was raining?
remember how we used to compete in cycling along the beach?
remember how u used to sing songs to me?
remember the book we used to write msgs to each other in school?
remember them. but move on.
maybe i'll come to appreciate people more when he leaves.
because that's when i will see everyone in my eyes.
now. it's him. only him.
call it foolishness or blind,
irritating or selfishness.
many have asked and questioned.
why stay on when the quarrels are neverending.
each time we quarrel, i would hurt him. emotionally, psychologically.
and i can expect vice versa.
somehow, recently,
there's a sudden fear rooted in me.
the fear of losing him.
i don't wanna feel this way.
each time the calls aren't answered, each time the smses aren't replied,
thoughts rush to my mind.
"what is he doing now?" "is he sleeping? or is he talking to other ppl?"
sorry for doubting u. but that's how scary my thoughts come to me.
those aren't the limit.
when the limit reaches, the tears will fall.
u said before, that u would be there for me.
still remember what u told me 8 months back?
u still remember how it felt like to be in love 8 months back?
do u feel different now?
i miss your voice.
miss your care.
miss your constant smses.
miss your letters.
miss your cuteness.
i miss your love, your everything.
can u see that i'm trying my best now?
maybe it's cause of someone, who told me this before
"you're quite self centered.. and you're very petty over small things.. most things you'll want your way.. else you'll go up in a temper"
" but you are taking alot of things for granted.. the other things around you.. your family.. your dad.. your freedom.. you are taking alot of them for granted.. you prolly wont realise them until they are taken from you.. "
everyday, i would remind myself of what my friend said. it hits me real hard in my heart.
am i really such a person. how come i feel that i'm not.
take today for example,
i helped this sec school girl pick up her books when she dropped them on the bus.
i felt glad.
things have been taken away from me.
just that many of u don't know.
i don't say some things out.
i'm feeling down and all.
feeling disheartened within me,
but i keep most of em to myself.
i pretend not to hear certain things, pretend i don't know anything.
why?
just to make the world go round happily.
those who have known me well enough know that i love to keep things to myself.
how i wish that u would be able to see through my true feelings.
how i wish ppl out there wouldn't be quick to judge.
i don't wanna regret living.
with l o v e * 12:20 AM
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
努力为你改变.
眼泪可以不流...
但心碎不能救.
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定.
不管你做任何决定,
究竟爱我还是逃避
我还是不会放弃爱你.
陪我到最後, 可以吗?
with l o v e * 9:53 PM
i didn't mean to doubt u. but the recent change in ur attitude towards me makes my mind wander off.
i don't wanna have that feeling either. it's painful in me. imagine of what i could think of.
i scalded my hand this afternoon, while trying to make something to eat. luckily it wasn't that bad or else i wouldn't be able to "shake it up" for tomorrow's chemistry practical exam. (4e3 u know what i mean. haha)
todays' weather isn't that nice. there was a thunder that set my heart beating so fast i thought i was hallucinating. it's scary to be alone at home!!
i miss u.. the guy u used to be.
who is always there..
with l o v e * 7:27 PM
Monday, August 28, 2006
the calls u didn't pick up. the smses u didn't reply.
how if an urgent call from me was vibrating away.. without u picking it up?
how if such a day really happened?
each time the call got missed.. i feel it in me.
has it now come to a point where it's one-sided?
it might take a lifetime.. but somehow, i'll be there, always.. to see you through
with l o v e * 8:52 PM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
i believe i have changed. don't u think so
why is it that your attitude towards me is still the same?
why is it that i feel different as before?
can't everything go back to how they were?
i can't express how much i desire to renew that feeling as before.
i've taken u for granted before. i know. but now?
do i still mean as much to u?
with l o v e * 8:28 AM
Thursday, August 24, 2006
ok. i shall not say much on my blog now. scary isn't it. yeap
very.
anyway. no ssp today! yay! went to take an injection for chicken pox. i sure hope the injection works and i'll be chickpox free.
with l o v e * 4:19 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
things aren't the same anymore.
there weren't like how they used to be last time.
back then.
the feelings then and now. too contrasting.
i can't bear to look back. it just hurts more.
for now, hope for the better.
at least i didn't lose the full 100%.
i'm trying. i'm still trying.
holding on.
23rd august 2006 just screws my life.
the humanities teachers seem to be against me.
eww. first social studies, then geog.
with l o v e * 7:16 PM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
i realised a hurtful fact. maybe a truth enough to change my attitude towards her.
my mother.
recently, she passed me this $100 voucher from starhub. it was for my number. being so happy about it, i decided to hao lian it to my siblings. what a mistake! the truth surfaced.
"orh, mummy ask me whether i want it or not a few days ago," said my sister
"oh.. har..," said michelle, STUNNED
"ya. but i told her i don't want. $100 can buy what phone," said my sis
"oh. ya. mummy last time also gave me a $500 starhub voucher too. cause that time my phone got problem remember?" said my brother
"....... (what the..) ", thought michelle.
so ya.. the truth in my view is that my mother actually asked my sis whether she wanted the voucher first, and only when my sis didn't want it that she passed it to me!!!
i feel so...... hmm.. i feel like thrash.
i did ask her whether she could sponsor me a new phone.
"no! u get a new phone for what?!"
there u go.
housework has been causing frictions in the house too.
sis said i didn't wash clothes.
bro said i talked too much on the phone. (hello.. like there's even someone for me to talk to now)
mum complained i didn't do the chores well enough.
luckily, dad said i was having o's and should let me do less. (finally, some justice)
my jaw dropped when they were saying i didn't do things or didn't to it up to expectation.
come on, i've been having a maid with me since i was born. only until june2006 that i became one. i ain't a professional maid, i'm part-time.
wanna know some stuffs i did for the household?
- changed the plastic bags in the rubbish bins for every room and toilet.
- used the darn magic-clean wiper and wipe the floor.
- every sat, i would pack my sis's room. (with clothes on the floor. bra on the table.)
- sweep the garden (irritating leaves)
- wash the clothes
irritating!! argh.. i'm so pissed that i don't wanna do anything now.
but. what is affecting me most now is my mother. hai. i shouldn't have hao lian-ed to my siblings. i don't know what the devil is doing to me. oh no!
neh..
oh well. save money buy la.. don't eat lor.
haha. enough of las and lors.
take care ppl..
with l o v e * 10:35 PM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
ok. i gotta blog about this day. 9thAUGUST 2006. though it's like days after that date, i still feel that i should blog about this. and let the pictures tell u the whole story.
alright. a few cell groups had this combined games day thing which is called, Amazing Race.
and whao. we each were allocated to different groups. and this is the group i'm in, the Gay Eskimos.
ahh.. this was taken after some challenge we had to do. using flour as hair gel.
oh. this photo was taken with a wonderful sister. susan! hee
ok. the next pic is when we saw the helicopter along with the singapore flag. look how patriotic we were. we even sang the national anthem. haha. funny ppl.
oh.. look at the beautiful sunset.. with the coconut tree. lovely.
W355 , my wonderful brothers and sisters and most importantly, our CGL, Wenshan
this was taken after the nice shower.
some of the sisters
jeremiah and i. notice the "ki lings" at the back? waahhaa..
that day was certainly a day i had so much fun.. aww.. i love these ppl. they just influence me to be better and better.
oh. prelims are nearing! oh no oh no!! no time!!
with l o v e * 10:13 PM
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
i did try..
as time is ticking by, i wonder when my world will crash.
maybe i will stand up again. and face this cruelty.
maybe i will remain on the ground. shutting myself from reality.
i wanna be strong. i will take whatever it needs to show my strength.
be it pain, tiredness, failures..
i will grow stronger.
every sentence i say, am i just deceiving myself?
i'm tired.. in pain...
feeling lousy..
how long more should i torture myself..
with l o v e * 10:45 PM
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
it's 11p.m as i type..
i realise... in this solitude night..
in these nights to come, i stand alone.
i wonder what it'll be like to wake up in the middle of the night, thinking of calling someone, yet in fact, i'm the only one left awake..
as the pains are acting up on me..
i feel better. at least it diverts my attention
i should get sleeping pills... it's scary waking up in the middle of the night, realising that i'm alone now. ha.
with l o v e * 10:59 PM
Monday, July 17, 2006
lalala. mock prelims are nearing. countdown. 2 days~
how nice.
haha. oh well. i have confidence i can scrap through. hehee. opps.
but.. it's alright. i'm beginning to build up the momentum for o levels. haha. i must! 10 points! business course! ohh~
lol. sounded corny.
ok. here's the blog entry.
i'm beginning to feel so attached to my friends.. esp my cell group friends. though i joined them for only 6 months or so, i feel as though there is a common understanding between all of us. aww. sweet. haha. love ya all!
cashy baby!! haha.. aw. dear girl.. please eat k. i try to bring things for u eat k!! hehe. come on, say u love me!! lol. neh
i realise my nose is huge! omgosh.. seriously! so huge. i can't even see what's in front of me. lol. nah.. just exaggerating on that. but. hey. it's huge la.. boohoo... =.="...
oh! i saw a heart-shaped lollipop at raffles city! it's at the basement. (HINT)* and there are many other shapes too i think.
ok. my dark circles and eye bags are so huge i can just put the eye cream on my whole face.
today i really look like zombie ah cash? lol.. tired ma. nvr sayang me some more. hehe.. i need TLC.
with l o v e * 11:37 PM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
mock prelims are nearing. so many things to study until i don't know which to start with. lol.
i believe we grow up by learning from our mistakes and our heartbreaks.
we learn to be stronger
learn to be nicer
learn to be patient
learn to be someone everyone likes.
does that mean i'm supposed to learn to be someone the world wants me to?
not what i want of myself?
my future keeps displaying itself in my mind. my goals, my aims. my life.
i often think to myself. do i belong in this world? is my presence in this world worthwhile.
i find it so ONLY if i bring smiles and care to my family and friends around me. do i?
how can the hurt be surpressed within me.. how can it slowly diminish at all..
i wanna be happier..
happier within my true self.
hear are some nice stuffs i found on the net. enjoy~
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them
6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful
9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened
10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
whatever happens, i know the Lord will bring me through.
farewell~
with l o v e * 6:02 PM
Monday, July 3, 2006
i realise i can't be optimistic. i know i have a low self-esteem.
i can't help it.
i wish i could be like some who can let things go easily.
some who remain strong even when they've fallen.
some who are able to put up a brave front to face reality.
some who are able to carry on like nothing happened.
i can't. i love to reminiscence on the past.
i love the feeling of nostalgia.
they may seem like two separate issues.. but. ahh. to me it's the fusion of both.
mock prelims are round the corner. i know time is killing me. i don't exercise self discipline and self control on myself. all i know is to be lazy and think of things i shouldn't be thinking about.
this year hasn't been a good one for me. i've beginning to wake up in the middle of the night every night. something's wrong. i ain't like that before. i need to get sleeping pills. at least they'll let me dream of u without ending everything so soon.
as a fresh day awaits me, i wish to pen out my focus in life.
good night everyone, christmas is coming.. in 5 months time
each time u aren't by my side.
with l o v e * 10:32 PM
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
i seriously do not like the devil. shoo!
feeling damn guilty now cause of certain things. i'm sorry.
but what hurts most is other ppl talking behind our backs. don't do it please. u don't know what actually happened. don't ASSume.
did housework till 12a.m last night. ironed the clothes and packed them nicely. haha. it felt nice.
i'm sorry i put u through so much pain. i wish i could take em all away.
with l o v e * 11:04 PM
Friday, June 23, 2006
i love my daddy God!
haha. i just had the urge to shout it out. He is wonderful.
whatever He said, He is still saying today.
whatever He did, He is still doing today.
He is the same yesterday, today, forever!
He did a lot for me. i know it.
thanks, my healer
with l o v e * 5:19 PM
pictures paint a thousand words. nice~
with l o v e * 4:44 PM
Thursday, June 22, 2006
i kena stomach flu or some virus in the stomach. yeap. vomitted and had diarrhoea. wa lau. tiring man. serious. no energy and kena dehydrated too.
slept the whole day yesterday. ate too much fried things i guess. on tuesday i ate roast pork and char siew rice. at night ate fish and chips. den after an hour or so. diarrhoea.. and everything started. vomitted and diarrhoea-ed at least 4 times each la. made me so weak.
hai. made me miss a prayer. i'm sorry.
but anyway. i'm alright now. was sent to clinic to get medicine and all sorts of funny medicine popped out. haha.
with l o v e * 8:18 AM
Monday, June 19, 2006
school is reopening soon. gosh. need to start mugging hard for o's le.
yeap. 10 points i aim. i must.
been thinking about something these two days. the feeling is still lingering there. it's so strong. it seems to be telling me something.
last service, the cell group and i walked over to the mrt together and took the train till i alighted at city hall. the whole journey with them was so enjoyable. really, a bunch of funny ppl. nice ppl i must say. especially a sister named susan. she's nice. haha. caring. aww... sweet. that night was the first night i mixed with them for so long. the rest of the saturdays i had to rush to yck mrt or to wherever my parents were eating at.
until now, i'm still reminiscing about it. haha. nice feeling. thanks daddy god! but.. i don't want any switch in cg members!! ahh... just when the bond is bonded so strongly for me....
hmm. been struggling with a problem. parents don't really like me to spend so much time in church. pity. i'm missing out on God's blessings. i still remember i went to cut myself just because they didn't want to let me go for service. cried the sh*t outta me. ok. i know it's stupid and that isn't my body.. but.. i needed to show them my rebellion and what i can do.
well.. it worked. they allowed me to attend service every week. but not cell group. neh. well. at least better than nothing. since they compromised, i had too.
i have to finish homework by friday night. sat morning study before leaving the house in the afternoon. what's more. i can't leave earlier than two. =.=" that is tiring. seriously. zhonghua gives weekend homework like nobody's business.
oh. remember my maid went home? aww.. missing her badly.
today morning, i woke up at 7a.m to prepare breakfast for the family since i need not attend school. haha. it was nice. steamed crystal jade's char siew bao. lol. parents favourite. made mummy coffee and orange juice. made sister milo. both sis and bro took two baos each to office. hehe. what's more. i washed my dad's car! in and out! i feel so proud la. his car is an MPV. (7 seater) so freaking big.. i washed the dishes too!
ok. gotta sleep now! need to wake up early to prepare breakfast again. lol.
love God. love my family!
with l o v e * 10:40 PM
shall blog about saturday and sunday.
saturday. my dear maid went home! to philippines. i was damn sad la.
cried as i saw her out of my sight after entering the departure gates. till i got home. played the piano and cried. miss her a lot.
ladies and gentlemen, my maid and i
yeap. wasn't a nice feeling. spent the night alone.
sunday. woke up early in the morning to go marketing with mum. came home. did household chores. i'm getting tired easily now a days. hai.
i miss her! think of her i'll cry. 9 years leh. since i was p1..
with l o v e * 12:01 AM
Saturday, June 10, 2006
with l o v e * 10:27 AM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
oh no. the devil is devouring me!
hahas. been very busy these few days. seriously.
school. ssp. tuition. homework.
school ssp homework.
school. ssp. tuition. homework.
etc etc etc etc
gosh. have i grown more white hairs on top my peeeuuny brain?
honestly. can't exactly concentrate well enough these few days. been thinking about lots of stuff. as usual.
the usual me
the me who says no when it means yes. and vice versa.
the me who just smiles my sadness away.
yeah. the usual me.
i guess u have forgotten about me huh. maybe i wasn't part of ur memory. maybe those months were just a form of interaction. hahas. read[--] 's blog.. guess he found his happiness. i'm glad. kinda weird feeling though.
anyway. gonna save money!! been chating this over and over again. just can't stop. those temptations are sucking onto me. :(
with l o v e * 8:32 PM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
been busy with hcl ssp. that seriously sucks the shit outta me. those taking the o level chinese paper this month hang in there. it's gonna be over soon.
for me, i'd better psycho myself olevels will be over soon. my dad keeps chanting that.
i've decided not to live in despair. i'll study hard from today onwards. do homework on my own and revise!
i don't wanna cry next year when i get my results. i wanna scream and smile.
ahh.. enough of this emo thing. lol
hmm. but my looks wise.. no comment. haha. just be confident of myself.. i guess that's all i can do now. this is what god made me into.
what's more. i have nice people caring for me. cash that nutsy. singwoon another nutsy. (gone case) hehee.. funny people. miss my jiemeis.
i keep picturing myself getting a cute box of sweets, chocolates and small cute cute stuff. lol. anyone can decipher what that means? i think that's cute.
with l o v e * 6:23 PM
Sunday, May 7, 2006
browsed over ppl's blog and friendster.. wow.. pretty girls around. haii. how i wished i could like them. pretty faces.
not only that. they have nice clothes. accessories. bags. hair. everything. almost near perfect.
me? ha. 3/4 away from perfect.
must i learn it the hard way? must my parent's instill the virtue of thrift into me? it's a pity. to me. missing out on what adolescence offers to me.
wonder how much longer my smile can hold on.
pain, jealousy, vainity, self-centeredness is all i feel now. each day, i seem further away from my wants. my craves.
with l o v e * 6:41 PM
a miracle happened to me! heee. as u ppl know. i was coughing non stop like a bloody hyena. but the thing is.. i just recovered from it during service's praise and worship! ahaha. praise the lord! so happy la. so touched. so amazed.. He's a living God.
hee. just so happy over it.
haii. need ta save money la. hate this topic. ew. ipod, nice clothes, nice hair, nice eyes... i'll get u all after my o's! hmphf.\
read a friend's blog.. and the story he wrote was exactly what mr lee(our v.principal) told us. but this time. my friend's words made an impact on me.
saw his nick.. full of amibition. i wish i could be like him. making first million at the age of 28. haha. i want to be a successful businesswoman.. but i lack the x factor that he has. haha. life's in my own hands... hmm. true. but i'd have mine sticking by Him. i'll let Him guide me. i'll just work towards my goals. accomplishing them. whee whee. i think what my friend said really made sense. woke me up from my snooze.
been wasting time and effort on wrong directions. o's are priority #1. from then on, i plan my life out.
with l o v e * 10:40 AM
Friday, May 5, 2006
I AM SICK. yes i am so sick. cough. flu. fever. headache. what more can i ask for.
there's hcl paper2 on mon. gosh. so glad i don't need ta study for it. been sleeping everyday after i reach home. school really tires me out. koh's amath kills me. lim's chem confuses me. gimhua's ss/hist excites me. lee's geog irritates me. ngiam's phy stones me. lee's eng bores me. guixiang's hcl nags me to death. see how tiring school is.. oh. PE :) SLACK.
aww.. any tender loving care from people on monday? :( i'm so germy...
my life's all about o levels.
study study study 24 hrs a day. seriously! i think i'm even thinking when i'm sleeping! i would just wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself. "whoops! haven't studied that" or " oops! didn't pack that into my bag." that's so creepy.
ha. actually.. i think what i just said made sense. life's all about o levels. i think o levels is the bridge to anything. u do well for that, and that just paves the way for the rest of ur life.
sat's my only free day. i hit town for about 1hr or so before attending service. i'm contented =) i work hard every day just for every week's sat to come so i can refresh myself. look at wonderful things and use them to motivate me to save money. (though the saving part never seems to happen)
strive on my friends.. o's will be over soon!
with l o v e * 8:23 PM
Friday, April 28, 2006
aww.. been raining for the past few days. yeap. cold. oh yeah.. i want an adidas jacket!! it looks cool la.. but.. aw.. gotta save for it..that'll take me years. lol.
four days of "holidays"! aha. seriously need these days to take a break. it's healthy! :) oh.. i realise i would like an ipod. LOL. i need to listen to songs while doing homework. it keeps me occupied and not walk up and down the house. also.. it can accompany me while taking bus or train rides. perfect~
nice crappin of mine. oh. ATTENTION PEOPLE! Yakult is good! it seriously did make me shit. well.. ok.. it made me poo. ahaa. really. it's nice too. esp the purple and geen coloured. meaning.. grape and green apple flavoured. go try! ahaha.. it'll rid the shit outta u.
oh! another news! as i'm 16 this year, my membership for the SSC has been upgraded to junior membership.. which means..... i can bring friends to the club with me!!! whee!! ahaha... can't wait after o's la. hehe. ok. the best is.. everything just needs to let them scan the card and everything is paid by the card.. (or more like.. when the bill comes. lol)
i'm a happy girl! yes i am.. ha. with God's love pouring down on me, lovely friends around me ( for EG. sing woon! ahaha.. she's crazy la. never fails to make me smile. casherine goh! this neh.. doing stupid actions with Fleming's left hand rule during physics lesson. ahah. ass.. wan chin! pollypocket look-alike. haha. i think she looks like a skeleton. LOL! the actions she mimick. damn funny la. miic too! haha. she reacts damn cute-ly to singwoon's dumb actions. aww... more lovely people around too! like cons and waimun! aaha.. great people.) .... nice family and my maid's going back to the philippines for good! (argh. but that's mid june.) ahhaa.. still.. rejoice~!
kinda miss band.. miss mrchew. haha. miss my dear section. love ya'all!
friends and all.. cheer me on as i save money to buy stuffs i want! yes. and by end of
May.. i must at least save $50. (take note that i do not get $10 a day)
bless all that have mid years! for christians, just study ur best and leave everything to God! let Him walk with you and be your guide~
with l o v e * 8:11 PM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
hehee.. had hcl exam today. hehee. i took the test with confidence and god in my heart and i realised... i could write a lot la!! haha. praise lord! whee!
anyway.. today was tiring.. and uh.. i came across someone's blog.. gosh.. vulgar sia the tagboard... full of "fuck" "humji" "knnccb" wah seh... scary.. don't le la.. sec4's le.. grow up la.. soon u'll realise that all these words only show two things -- u don't have manners and ur vocabulary is only full of that. haha.. honest!
recently.. my parents wanna fetch me home from school.. stupid.. well.. jeremiah can only come down and see me board the car.. sad.. haha.. i guess my parents are afraid that i'm having a bf. lol.. aww.. sad.. it's so true. wahah. ops..
but.. hai.. oh well.. relationships.. don't wanna talk about them anymore.. o levels more important.. i guess.. i've managed to set my priorities right.. and have slightly better time management ba.. haha..
#1. God
#2. more sleep
#3. tests
#4. o levels
#5. jeremiah
#6. business management/admin
i'm sorry j.. but yeah.. that's what i realised... i don't wanna repeat what happened last year between v and i. that was one serious lesson i learnt.
new skin! yeap.. and new song! entitled, ghost of you and me.
oh well.. now in my heart.. just feeling lots of things... love.. happiness.. sadness.. stress.. blah blah. haha.. can't wait for o's to be over.. really gonna enjoy myself and work and get my first pay! whee.. haha. can't wait for that day..
however.. o's first! yeap.. don't wanna regret next year.. i wanna smile and get 8-10 points and enter business management! yes.. businesswoman i am 6 years down the road! haha.. and i plan to get married when i'm 25. hey.. my fave number!
oh yah.. feeling pretty envious of many girls these few months.. i realised they could get whatever they wanted... somehow.. money would just reach their hands.. haha.. oh well... if i can't enjoy myself when i'm young, i'll enjoy myself for the rest of my adulthood. haha.. that's what i tell myself to make me feel better. trying to curb my desires for nice clothes and accessories.. aww...
okok.. ending this post. but.. answer this question on my tagboard ok?
which is better?
the lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?
with l o v e * 5:15 PM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
aww... my sis's getting married on 6/6/2006.. nice date eay? ahaha.. aww... damn nice la.. she's starting to plan liao.. haii.. and i'm involved.. haha.. btw. today we viewed this website together about wedding stuffs.. OMG!!! damn nice la.. i want my wedding to be as grand and wonderful!! hmphfs!!
next time.. i wanna wear a nice nice wedding gown.. with a tiara.. haha.. hmm.. and have my wedding dinner held at fullerton.. or ritz carlton. wah.. so nice lor.. fullerton hotel is romantic lor.. besides... esplanade is just across the street with the darn merlion.. hai.. my dream.
with my friends and family attending my registration of the marriage at maybe say... sentosa. haha.. with the beach as the backdrop..nice.. with lots of bouquets of roses... aww..!!! can't stand it la... really hope to have lots of money to make a wedding dream come true...
my sis's bf bought her a $4000 brilliant rose ring from sookee... neh... nice la.
didn't blog for long huh.. haha.. hmm.. i'm thinking.. should i wake up at 7 or 8 and head to seletar resevoir to jog with my dad every sunday not.. haha. it'll be healthy. yeap.
i wish and pray that my wedding next time would be a very nice one lor.. haha.. be able to marry a very nice guy.. lol.
but now.. ahh.. studies.. lol.. having hcl exam next tuesday la.. so fast.. history test on monday!! gosh!! no time no time!! stress!!
wanna get rid of my eye bags and look good.. haiish.. feeling quite weird about my looks.. weird weird weird.. okok... gotta run!
god bless peeps! enjoy~
with l o v e * 7:42 PM
Friday, April 7, 2006
today had sports day. right. hot. sticky. ew. cheered for lots of ppl. aww.. saw my juniors doing the annual cheer competition. pretty nervous for them though.
gosh. past few days have been mugging. (i really did ok!) yeap. pretty proud of myself. but ahh.. must persevere!
ahh!! no time! no time for myself. oh. tomorrow going for some geography competition with four more ppl from class.. pretty cool huh. reading up on stuffs now. so interesting la. haha. didn't know our wonderful planet earth had so much stuffs.
haha.. anyway.. aww.. nth to blog about ba. boring. oh. hmm. hazelnut chocolates are nice! =) argh.. but. gotta lose weight!! yes. i must! i need to! seriously. fat fat fat. =) ew.
oh.. someone reminded me of kbox.. aww. i wanna go.. sing sing sing.. that's fun la. hee. haiish... wanna buy lotsa things.. hmm.. i should put my wishlist up to see it everyday and convince myself that i really need ta save up money to buy the stuffs i need and want.!!!! ahh!! $$$ makes the world go round. how i wish i'm rich. ha. rich teenager... ah.
with l o v e * 7:57 PM
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
valuing a relationship is not merely done by seeing each other everyday. what counts is how much in our busy lives we remember each other.. isn't that what relationships should be about?
haii.. doesn't matter anymore now though.. we quarrelled just days before our third month anniversary.. wtf.
he gave me a nice handmade thing today. it was very sweet looking! very nice. hand made stuffs are nice.. and a letter. the letter was very sweet and romantic.. it's like.. aww... but.. yeap. good things don't last.
don't feel like loving anymore... the joy yet pain i get from relationships.. i've seen.. been there.. felt that.. ha.. 4 years of getting involved in bgr... i know what to expect. maybe we fell in love at the wrong time...
ahh.. heck. first day of school was boring.. deciding to catch up with studies... haiish. maybe it's time.. maybe it's an excuse for me to end it.. maybe it is...
i wanna be someone special... someone special in someone's life. someone special in ppl's lives.. yes. i'm that greedy.. i need that assurance. someone special and different from all others.. just that one. me.
with l o v e * 5:53 PM
Monday, March 27, 2006
today casherine goh came over to my place! whee! with jeremiah... hehee.. had fun with her... damn funny la she.. but.. the good things didn't last.. he found out some stuffs... yeap.. i'm sorry.
but yeah... made a pact with him... i'm sorry j.. for ur safety.
today... went through lots of past.. my diary.. neoprints.. letters.. haha
relationships.. hm... difficult to predict.. like what i'm going through now. thought i could have hid it from him. but yeah.. he found out.. and i guess a burden was off my chest.
gotta study damn hard now... i'm improving.. i know.. didn't fail any tests! hee.. next test... all b's.. yeah.. chiong le! saw cash doing her a maths tys.. so hardworking.. wish i was like her.. but.. i just can't.. haha. no drive and no discipline to do so. but i'll try.. yeap.
u're a nice guy. i guess it's time u find urself another target. i'm sorry. i wished things were better too. thanks for the tlc and motivation.. u're really a very good friend to me.
cashy baby!! eheee.. best partner in school.. lol...
with l o v e * 6:00 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
yesterday was meet the parents day... wtf.. haha. heng gim didn't say bad things about me. instead.. she said i was active in class and tries to answer questions when the class doesnt. lol. thanks gim. that's like the only nice thing that u've said so far.. wahaha. oh ya.. she said i was attentive.. eheee =)
but... haiish... dad kp-ed... and yeap... i can't attend service every weekend anymore... that's torture for me la. i wanna go for church. so spiritual to me. hee.
oh ya. our seniors did so well for o's last year that we have a holiday on monday. whee! nice.
results results. bad bad bad.. yeah.. didn't fail any though. but many were below average. haiis. neh. but i know... i'm picking up now... step by step.. subject by subject... reivising through le.. don't wanna regret next year. i need all the help i can get.
but i'm not sure whether i should get into a business course or not... sounds risky.. haii... maybe sajc? haha.. no idea..
i pray for an answer... whether u still love me. so confused.
i wonder whether i should stop bgr. in the name of studies. haaha.. sounds corny.. but.. i guess it's affecting me... i don't know.. tell me j
with l o v e * 7:51 PM
Monday, March 20, 2006
school started.. goodness.. haven't really done much holiday homework.haha. heng first day didn't really hand in any. whee! praise god! hehee. =)
anyway.. i miss town.. miss the holidays when i went ta town dressed nicely.. without tying up my hair.. ahh.. hate tying up my hair.. takes up my time and i comb my hair twice than when i let it down. haha. gosh.
i really can't wait for o's to be over.. aww.. 16th nov right? i hope.. haha.. i know it's somewhere around there la. heehe.. party all night.. and sit outside the pub until morning.. haha.
nah... not that lian. hehe. i'll spend my time at the beach! whee.
resolutions for term 2! try to salvage my term1 marks.. test 1 was alright lor.. test 2 den slack liao. see la. too complacent. my bad. whee.. can't wait till thurs and friday. we're gonna have learning carnival. no books! no lessons! play play and play. aww... btw. got our 4e3 class tee!! it rocks! so nice lookin.. though a lil' big. but yeah...i can sense the class spirit!!
just wanna divert a little...
we sorta quarrelled? haiish.. used to it. not that i want to.. but.. i just get frustrated with those type of questions? or.. the way u approach me..
but in any case.. i'm not angry with u.. i wouldn't be. i just need u to understand.
i'm sorry i said u were possesive. but.. to me.. that's my opinion. that's what i felt.
i know i can count on u.
u're always there for me.
24/7 i can say.
but.. i'm starting to feel tired out by your actions.
i don't know why... i don't want to either.
u're always there when i need help.
always there to accompany me.
always there to shower me with ur love.
thank u..
do u think we need a break or smth?
i don't want u to lose that passion.
haii.. love.. something we can always count on. but also something that hurts most.
contradicting huh.. yeah.. sure is.
[nrew].. thanks for being there. haha.. time will prove.. haha.. confirmation is in another two weeks time.. slowly take ur pick. don't rush. in the end.. u may find out that the girl whom u think fits u well doesn't actually...
business management here i come! haha.. wanna be a businesswoman and earn big money. hee.. said that umpteen times.
gonna hold my wedding with my future spouse at fullerton.. or.. hmm.. ritz carlton.. or westin.. or the going-to-buit six star hotel near tanglin area. hee. though those are high class places.. or relatively more expensive places to hold a wedding dinner.. i want to.. wanna have a memorable wedding dinner there. once in a lifetime leh! imgaine walking in with the groom.. with the nice decor he planned as a surprise for me.. aww... ppl looking with envy...... *slap slap*
wake up.. haha.. gotta work hard for that to happen.. study hard is all i can do now.. but yeah.. seriously having probs with physics and a maths. damn. wtf.. haha. help anyone...?
let me be the first and last thought in ur mind
with l o v e * 7:34 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
went to town today to meet aik wee.. ronson.. jenard and arthur. aww.. missed them lots.. even though i don't show it to them. haa. a bunch of great friends i will never forget. soompa!
pool.. cs.. town.. nice.
haha.. not enough though.. wanna pub. club. it's not ah lian or what. but.. a kind of relaxation. of course. the beach would be romantic. pubs.. are.. eh.. cool. yeah.
after o's.. oh man. can't wait.. hehe. lots of things ta do.. i wanna go on a cruise.. stay in westin stamford to see fireworks.. club the night through. of course.. i've changed my mindset of being an ah lian wannabe. instead.. i wanna be a guai.. yet wild girl inside.. wahaha.. nice eay? lol. when times i need ta be guai.. be guai. when i need ta show the wild side.. here it comes. aha. i love being that. two sides. two different times. cool.
also. not to forget. i wanna be holy! hee. always!
being rich is everyone's dream huh.. yeah... i need that truth real badly now!! haiish..
i'm gonna be a businesswoman. earn big bucks and drive a sports car. u can call me materialistic but that's my dream.
aww...
with l o v e * 6:36 PM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
i miss u.
been far away for far too long
i keep dreaming that u'll be with me
stop breathing if i don't see u anymore
i know u know.
with l o v e * 7:40 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
hai... nothing to say.
only... i'm sorry.
u were comforting.. funny..
it warmed my heart
however.. ended soon.
had cip.
cried the shit out of me
in the end. it was alright i guess.
life is difficult.. so is love.
haha.. morning call anyone? feeling weird now... mixed feelings..
i miss u
with l o v e * 8:36 PM
Monday, March 13, 2006
yesterday went for the cell's bbq.. quite fun la.. except for the fact that the walk there was long..haha.
justin and i went together... while jeremiah and the rest were there already. hmm.. can say i knew more about him ba.
didn't really eat much... need ta lose weight!! haha. yeah.
saw the sentimental side.
innocent
i know what i want.
the trust is gone.
sorry
den maybe the relationship wouldn't take long to end.
u're right.. such a simple thing and yet i can't do it
how useless can i get
with l o v e * 4:47 PM
Monday, March 6, 2006
hurt
after a day of happiness
that's all i can say...
my heart really hurts now.
though u may think that look didn't mean anything.. it meant a lot.. it meant a thousand words, "go away!" "don't bug me!" "don't so irritating la" "can't u see i'm talking on the phone?!"....
that look... something i wouldn't expect u to display... but.. i guess u did..
at that moment... u really tore it asunder. totally...
wo de xin zhen de shou shang le
with l o v e * 5:51 PM
Friday, March 3, 2006
hai... so busy these few days... no time to blog. but anyway.. just realise this song is nice!! hee =)
no time for myself
no time for rest
no time for anything
friendship week is coming (church).. really hope u'll come.. please? it's next sat onwards.
lotsa things have happened these few days.. scary..
undesirable.
with l o v e * 8:24 PM
Sunday, February 26, 2006
yesterday went for church. whee! guess my parents are more willing to let me go out on a sat le.. praise god! hee. anyway.. yesterday's service was awesome!!! powerful i should say. really touched my heart. i just cried.. for no reason.
friday.. aww.. haha. sweet.
gosh.. this coming week having lots of tests. physics.. a maths.. chinese.. english. dumb. so stress la.. hmm. i wish i could do well.. i must! yeap. oh.. gotta save money.. hee.. as usual. wanna buy stuffs i like. stuffs i need.
i wanna get an adidas jacket! hee.. hmm. red? lime green? maybe not pink. too girly. hee. i wanna get an anklet too. lost my previous one. sad la.. hmphf. wonder if i can get a similar type.. prefer simple ones.. not those ew... (dont know how ta say.. but.. those which make lotsa noise and lotsa decor) lol.. simplicity! hee.
oh.. don't know why.. but i like white colour a lot.. but i don't like white roses.. contradicting huh. yeap. i like brown too! gives me a calm yet sweet feelings.. lol.. no idea
with l o v e * 10:40 AM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
i was able to attend service yesterday... the sermon was powerful i tell u! hee. very good. so i wanna share.
wanna share the 10 commandments of building relationships and how to get along with people.
#1. communicate/communication
- communication is the key of life
- say one thing at a time.. not in paragraphs
#2. be interested in people in their world
- show interest (it will show love)
- talk about what my friends are interested about
- don't always talk about "me"
#3. make people feel important
- for eg. parents.
- talk to them and ask them about their unique experience
#4. smile when you meet people =)
- you never know who u gonna meet
- get rid of frowning ; it will only attract satan
#5. encourage people
- it means to embolden that person
- and also to put faith into that person's heart
- with that, they will believe in themselves
- thus, be an encourager!
#6. be longsuffering
- it means to be willing to suffer a long time
- learn to be patient
- don't jump into judgemental conclusions
- don't assume the worst
- always assume the best in people
- take a long time before u become cynical
- give people room to make mistakes
#7. respect people
- respect people's title
- respect people's private space
- respect people's fathers!
#8. esteem others as better than yourself
- be humble
#9. use people's names more tha usual
- let them feel recognised
- learn to remember names
#10. be complimentary of people
- always compliment people
- be extravagant in ur compliments
- praise somebody
- look for the positive things
- always compliment Man on his work
isn't it awesome?! hee. simple compliments like, " hey! u look beautiful today! ... " can create confidence in someone and that can mean a stepping stone for that someone to strive in life.
pastor kong also mentioned about how husbands should treat their wives and vice versa. lol.. damn funny. haha. he said smth about women's language - which we women have the reverse meanings when saying things. left the whole hall laughing. hee.
but. it's true man. hee. i guess women tend to kou shi xin fei. haha. a lot. oh! also.. ps kong mentioned about guys being the more emotional one despite being the stronger one. (aww.. i shan't blame [u] anymore..)
after yesterday's sermon.. i realised i need to change. to a better person. with those qualities mentioned above. most importantly.. i realised i need to stop judging people. i'm bad. i know i keep doing so. sorry. and i need ta honor my parents. i must try and make an effort to do so.
with l o v e * 7:35 AM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
my grades are improving i guess.. hee. happy and thankful for that.
thanks lord!
yeap.. but chemistry ah... erm. ha.. otherwise. wahaha. opss.
but i'm trying!! i'm studying hard.. and i know that. hee. =) anyway...
yeah.. just felt like blogging.. hearing lots of stuff everywhere.. haha.. about someone. gosh. didn't know she was that.... er.. ew? but oh well.. best not to judge.. always remember, do unto others what u want others to do unto u. yeah... it works i tell u... really..
damn true. i've experienced it. hee.... opss.. well.. u know we had to donate to the school last week or something like that right? i asked my mum to give me 30 to donate. in the end.. i took 10 bucks. heee.. and gave the school 20 only.. and u know what!!! i got my retribution i tell u... my maid took money from my envelope for a donation to the church! she took 10 bucks!!! and she changed the amount written on the envelope... creepy.. wa lau... from this incident onwards.. i'm really believing in that sentence man.. haha. it's also in the bible. bless me.
oh!! i think i slimmed down! haha.. a bit.. but fear not!! i will strive for a slimmer body! hee =) cheer me on peeps!
i feel drained out
really...
i feel my soul crying out..
honestly.. this isn't what i thought a relationship would consist of.
with l o v e * 7:32 PM
Monday, February 6, 2006
today was nice.. haha.. after social studies test he brought me to somewhere... somewhere at first he didn't want to tell me... den we boarded NEL.. and... he told me we were going to sentosa!!! lol.. quite far la.. haha.
but it was nice.. hee. he made sandwiches for me!! and jelly. haha.. sweet~ aww... wahaha.. tuna sandwiches! whee!! damn nice la.. i was laughing all the way la. sweet of him.. thanks!. hee... and... we sat cable car!!! all the while i wanted to la.. thanks. hee.. what a nice day. tomorrow is the real day!! ahh!! oh gosh oh gosh!! hehee..
i'm looking forward to tomorrow.. i really hope i don't cry for the wrong reasons. it happens every year though. ha.. birthday card anyone? hehee
with l o v e * 6:23 PM
Friday, February 3, 2006
it's feb!! aww... the month of my birthday! whee!! wahaha..
anyway... i've been busy with common tests and ssp s. gosh.
issue #1
listen ppl!!! announcement!!! "ting ting ting" *michelle hits the wine glass*
yes... I AM OFFCIALLY GOING ON A DIET! and I AM PLANNING TO SLIM DOWN! isn't that good news? hee.. to make my slimming effective, i've planned to eat lesser and exercise more! yes!
don't condemn me alright? i have my reasons... social reasons.. psychological reasons. haha. yeah. u know, sometimes i just feel disturbed by the fact that some ppl are smaller in size than me... and... i'll just wonder why can't i be too.. yeah.. that bothers me.
issue #2
just wanna talk about some stuffs. everyone's life never shuns away from 'love' this term. it is constantly revolving around us. family love, friends, relationships. all these show the different degree of love a person shows. however.. i do agree love makes one fall too.. i guess falling in love too many times taught me many stuffs.. tolerance. patience. forgiveness.
but u know what... i admit i have not learnt the factor of trust. the most important one.. it's because of falling in love too many times. hai.. u see.. there are pros and cons in every situation. everytime a relationship ends, the hurt remains. the memories just like scars. the trust will slowly go... making it difficult to build again.
i need time, [J]. i need your patience. i need you to slowly build up the trust in me. would u? will u?
behind that smile of mine
with l o v e * 8:05 PM
Saturday, January 28, 2006
haven't blogged for long. yeap. went shopping yesterday with jerry. went to orchard of course. hee. i bought a brown blouse (collared-shirt) and a very sweet-looking skirt. 90% white and 10% brown. hee. happiee happiee.. though i saw some other nice skirts... shirts... cardigan.. but.. aww... no $$$ to buy. heee. oh well.. gotta start saving to get THAT. yes.. $79.. gosh. haha
anyway.. this coming tuesday gotta go istana perform. hehee.. cool yeah? wahaha. we're performing there at around 3 plus. (band) yeap. today is eve of chinese new year.. cool. hee. nice food tonight!
ciao peeps. may $$$ come in ur way! happy chinese new year
with l o v e * 10:06 AM
Sunday, January 22, 2006
yay! i was able to attend service yesterday!! whee. happiee happiee.. yeap. that cost me a lot of tears.. haha.. but anyway.. it's worth it! yeap..
recently.. i have been helping friends around me deal with their relationship problems.. aww.. i feel so proud of myself. ha.. yeap.. it just brings me great joy to see their problems solved.. but.. saddens me when things dont' work out well... oh well.. situations can't be that perfect after all yeah?
one thing important in a relationship or.. relationships with colleagues/family/friends... is COMMUNICATION. yes.. it's communication. u tell the other party how u're feeling.. tell the other party what u're thinking about.. these help i guess... i've learnt one thing.. not to keep everything to myself.. i guess i'm slowly letting go of myself now.. trying to tell my partner how i feel..
u know what.. i wonder lots of things.. haha... wonder who will cry for me when i die... wonder who will die for me.. lol.. sounds silly and dumb.. but... u never know..
depression has been my good friend... but i hope it'll be my enemy soon... very soon...
with l o v e * 8:15 AM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
lots of things have happened to this blog.. to my tagboard... gosh... so i assume now i must speak better than an average singaporean eay?
here goes.
life has been treating me pretty well i must say... giving me tests tests and more tests, stress stress and more stress... isn't that wonderful?
what's more.. with all the noise pollution at the tagboard.. seesh.. freedom of speech eay.. wow wow wow... i have not seen it's ultimate power though
oh yah.. that person mentioned that my life is full of love.. guys.. presents.. etc etc.. well... i love it! i love the life i have.. at least.. i know i have ppl who love me.. ppl who care and ppl who shower me with gifts that brighten up my day!
hmm.. i'm not supposed to say all the "lah" "leh" "lor" "wors" "huh" "aiyarh" right...
come on man.. like.. why be cynical about these stuffs? singlish... isn't that what makes ppl friendlier and closer to each other? or.. should i be the "high among all" person who speaks the queen's english? .... wanna bring in shakespeare? with all the "thy" "thee" blah....
anyway.. shan't comment much..
had been having ssp every day after school these few days... gosh. tired me out.. tuition.. tests..
oh.. i read seventeen magazine!!! and there's a page where i saw a white blouse from hula and co!! damn nice can!! omg... wanna get it.. so sweet looking.. awww... wahaha.
with l o v e * 7:41 PM
Sunday, January 15, 2006
jeremiah.. thanks for being there when i needed someone to cry to.. i know i can rely on u to be my supporter. heee..
i guess i'm alright le ba... i hope.. though my dad's nagging, nagging and nagging every single moment he sees me.. u know.. that's damn disgusting la.. so stressful that when i see him i feel like crying.. lol.. the scar is there... ok.. more like.. scars.. but i think my mother saw it.. because she started treating me like a princess i tell u!! wa lau.. really la..
i was doing homework one night. (can't remember which night) den she came down the stairs with a wrapped present.. lol.. i knew they were chocolates. because can hear the chocolates "moving" in the box ma.. it was WRAPPED leh!!! lol... ahaha..
den she said, " nah.. give u.."
den i replied, " what's that? why all of a sudden give me ?"
den she said, " need reason meh? just give u la.."
LOL
yeap.. really... but. haii.. i wanna go university.. and get some good good degree in something and.. hmm.. next time.. i wanna be a business woman? ahaha.. lol... yeah.. den can help out in my parent's company.. den earn big $$$ yes.. big $$$.. ahaha... den can buy sportscar and drive on the road... "vroom vroom" den wear nice nice clothes... and stay in a nice house with my future husband and kids..aww... den see the kids (a girl and boy) running around... AWWW..... (yeah right...)
oh yah.. i was allowed to go church on sat(yesterday).. i was damn happiee la.. after flagday.. den i went with constance and jeremiah.. ohyah!!! he came down to accompany me!! whee!! went to watch movie with cash and nelson. ahaa.. lol... fun fun fun..
thanks to {u know who u are} for that sms to her. it did made my life better... maybe a ltitle bit. but.. thanks. send me the pic!!
with l o v e * 6:13 PM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
yes.. i cut myself... so what.. dont think it erased my hurt..
i can't live without freedom.. i'm so used to going out almost every weekend...i need that... i can't be cooped up at home... at least let me go to church right?..
gosh.. i'm still stuck in my depression state... yes.. there's that smile hung up on my face... but hey... look into my heart..
i'm slipping into serious depression now man.. everyday.. i just feel like crying for no reason... yeap... haii... i hope the next time i do it again... i die...
FUCK
with l o v e * 8:18 PM
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
my birthday is coming!! whee!! lol.. next month.. ahaha.. but.. i'm pretty excited about it la.. heee... =)
i want a lot of things la... can? ehee... grant me a nice sweet sixteen birthday wish ok!!
wants for a perfect birthday:
* not to cry on 7th feb for the wrong reasons
* calculator
* ripples pink flip flops
* adidas jacket
* mug
* roses
* birthday cards
* nokia 7160/sony ericsson
* roxy shorts
* musical box
* pencil case (small)
* school bag
so far that's all ba... haha.. well.. valentine's day is a week after my bdae... sad.. haha.. anyway... roses anyone? wahhaa... bleahs.. j8 has nice roses!!! *hint hint* lol... i feel evil!! wahaha...
haii... guess i can't go out till the end of my o levels le lor.. sian.. damn sad la.. cried and cried man... i need a little freedom.. or i'll commit suicide.. yes i mean it... haiish..
with l o v e * 3:43 PM
Monday, January 9, 2006
recently... i smsed someone... he seemed so distant.. haii... do sleep early ba... i hope we are still friends... don't wanna lose u as a friend.. a very good one perhaps..
school is stressing me up ah!!! save me!! i'm drowning!!!
drowning in sorrows...
drowning in life's indulgence too though...
hehee =) life's indulgence are...
hmm... shopping with mum paying? eheee..
love from ppl around me... whee!!
and... friendship!! most important... friends accompany me through thick and thin... just like my dear jie meis and cash!!! lol...
anyway... i think i'm becoming very pessimistic about life.. and myself...
i can't help it la.. i tried.. and i'm trying... just feel so bad about myself... i feel ugly... ok.. i admit i am... i'm fat!! i'm short... urgh... and.. i feel so petty and ewww...
guess no one knew i cry to sleep almost every night... haii... not even j...
oh well... live it.. deal with it... haii... off to rush homework le... don't wanna drag it...
with l o v e * 5:31 PM
Sunday, January 8, 2006
well... yesterday was cca orientation.. hehee.. fun.. anyway... when i went to meet him... he surprised me with something... ha.. thanks though... and then he ta pau-ed pastamania's pizza for me.. hehee.. so sweet of him.. lol.. thanks ah.
haiish... hee.. chinese new year is coming!! damn happiee la.. hee. i can save up money buy hp le... but first of all... calculator.. lol.. no more batt la... i'm so dead... haiish... tomorrow chem test i wonder how i do lor.. lol... oh.. tomorrow have chem test... haven't study yet... hee
blogging is getting a little boring.? ... ahh.. no idea... no inspiration to blog now.. school start already... damn stressed up la.. oh yah... i want to rebond my hair too... haha.. sad..
with l o v e * 10:14 AM
Wednesday, January 4, 2006
guess now i'm having a little depression? haaha.. thinking about a lot of things everyday... every night... and cry to sleep..
something is wrong... very wrong... i can't seem to stop feeling hurt about things... i can't stand myself anymore..
how i wish days before the new year could be like now...
"go away".... these two words... just pierced my heart.. and it's bleeding now... hai... but.. on my part... i know i'm being petty and oversensitive... i'm sorry
hai.. i've learnt to let go when relationships don't work out... so.. i will be prepared for such things to come..
haha.. it's such an irony... recently... someone wrote me something... and now... it sounds so familiar...
i musn't let history repeat itself now... i musn't control not change him. i've learnt my lesson from my first...
maybe it wasn't meant to be after all...
with l o v e * 7:07 PM
Monday, January 2, 2006
i try to smile.. so the hurt won't show
2006 will be a new year for everyone.. must study hard le.. work hard too.. (to those who are working..)
i promise myself that i will score for o levels.. i improved for sec3 end of year.. and i believe i can score for o's. yeap. gonna make my parents proud.. so they can hold their heads high in the Loh and Ma family. i believe jeremiah tan will help me HOR....
bad habits got to be changed.. i must save money too. i believe 2006 will change me..
or.. i will change myself for the better in 2006.
i just wanna thank some ppl here for all that they've done for me..
God: he brought wonderful ppl into my life. and sculptured me into this person i am now (which i assume is a nice one). he gave me strength when i needed it most and helped me along by sending angels, through ppl to guide me and help me.. and these angels are....
constance: u've assured me that it'll be alright during cell group.. hehee.. and been there to cheer me up whenever i have problems.. ur smile just sweetens everything. thanks girl
veronica: u're a sweet and funny girl.. keep that spirit going! i'm sure He's watching over u. remember.. if he puts u to it, he'll bring u through it.
cherylnn: u're the one with the comforting voice. whenever i have probs.. i'll run to ya and yell for help.. really hope to keep this friendship till world ends.
andrea: u really are like a big sister to us.. to me. hee.. u're smile just make me feel secured that i know there'll be someone there for me even when the whole world turns its back on me(that will never happen though...) =)) hee
vanessa: one sweet little girl.. yet a girl who can smile and tell me that things will be fine.. heee.. thank u.. those little actions mean so much
shuhan: she's someone who understands everything.. hee.. confirm ah! lol.. very active and comical girl.. who will brighten up my day.. thank u girl.
casherine: haha.. she's a funny person.. damn funny. love her!! heee.. she's always there for me.. and.. she understands everything too. she rock sia.. hee
erick: u're also the one always there for me.. silently there for me.. ur simple smses brightens up my day.. really. haha.. i guess those days on the cruise were my most glamorous days ba.. (check dictionary) thank u.. i know u're leaving singapore soon... take lots of care...
weiqing: thanks for being there once though.. thinking back about them.. sweet. ha.. take care.. and work hard...
kun loong: haha.. u ah.. thanks for always being prepared with all the stuff..(umbrella, jacket, waterbottle...) really.. thanks a lot.. good friends always!!
ulric sng...: lol... jackA**.... ehem.. yes.. haha.. thanks for being there though.. =P disgusting ass.. ehehee..good luck...(in u know what)
timothy yeo : haha.. thanks for being a nice friend.. a nice listening ear.. 2006 is here.. hope things will be better.. and continue smiling!! continue to shine!
han and krys: these two cutie pies... funny yet smart thinking ppl. thanks for all the joy and laughter during band.. hehee.. without u two = no laughter during band.. heee
victor: thanks for being there silently... i know u did much.. but.. haii.. u brought happiness and laughter to my life once.. not now... ha.. but.. thank u for always wishing me good morning.. and good night.. thanks a lot. at least i know i won't be alone..
and most of all, jeremiah: thank u for being there. u've been my support ever since we clicked well. u never fail to make me laugh. things have just been so coincidental for us.. haha.. i just can't say how much joy i've been experiencing thanks to u.. haha.. don't do silly things to urself anymore. aren't i standing right before u now? hee. life would never be the same.. i know.. ever since u picked me up again... u're very understanding... and most of all.. forgiving..(i hope?) lol.. in anyway... hope the candles burn together...
love,
michelle
with l o v e * 4:08 PM
Saturday, December 31, 2005
wish u were careful with my heart
but u tore it apart..
it's hard holding u... loving u.... losing u..
should i stay... or should i go...
oh well.. what's done is done... we've had some good times... thank u.
today is the last day of 2005!! hee.. everyone must look forward to 2006 wor!! forget about the past year's unhappiness and start all over again!! fresh!! =)
with l o v e * 8:58 AM
Friday, December 30, 2005
whee!! the new year is approaching!!! and that means... chinese new year is coming!! ahhaha!! and that means.. my birthday is coming... (presents please!!! =P ). and that means... valentine's day is coming!!! lol...
can't wait... but i realise that.. soon o level's will be here.. ahh!! hee.. oh well.. gotta mugg like seniors le... sian..
anyway.. yeah! today i'm able to go for cell group.. which is thanksgiving or something like that.. end of the year ma.. yeap.. sho happiee.. hehe =)
tomorrow having party at my place.. countdown for new year.. sian.. haha.. mum's opera friends... sure will gamble de.. wahaha.. bad bad... den drink beer and wine.. =DDD ehee..
i wanna rebond my hair!!! haii...
with l o v e * 1:17 PM
Thursday, December 29, 2005
regrets... regrets... haha.. acceptance is the only solution...
acceptance by the other. haii...
last night...
was a long night...
the tears...
the hurt...
the fear...
everything seemed so uncertain..
my smile and laughter covers everything...
depression...
hurt...
my tears..
how i wish i could be forgiven...
went for band today... went to j8 for lunch with timo and others...
i told **** and **** went... hee. to my surprise.. lol
thanks... *it* comforted me...
** u learn to love, not by finding a perfect person,
** but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly...
with l o v e * 7:25 PM
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
*heater* was really warm today.. aww.. hehee.. thanks lots. the feeling... made me cry... it touched my heart.. i wanted ****... i needed ****...
the gush of regret... the surge of happiness... how i wish **** was mine.. how i wish...
i sit here by the window
staring out at the world
a world that seems to no
longer have a place for me
then suddenly it comes...
memories of times before
all leave a bittersweet taste
once pleasure now turned to pain
waves of ache flood my soul
my whole being longs for you still
i stare out that window and notice
specks of rain where sun had shone
knowing that the angels too know of my pain
people will forget what u said...
people will forget what u did...
but people will never forget how u made them feel...
too late.. haha... too late.... haii... some things in life... best not to miss it... nor let it go...
if u're feeling angry at times... don't open u r mouth better... ur words may hurt ur loved ones very deeply... because.. they wouldn't expect u to say such things.. nor raising ur voice at them...
if u know who she wants.. u'll know the answer
with l o v e * 7:51 PM
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
after band.. i went for bible study with veron, jerry and cell leader, wenshan.. hehee.. she's nice.. it was fun la.. learning more about Jesus.. haven't been to church since ages.. yeah... haha. i ought to thank god for bringing constance into my life.. to enable me to know so many nice and funny ppl.. thank u!! of course... not to forget.... my jie meis!!! ehehee.. they are just such nice and sweet girls!! they are chio hor!!
can't wait till 2006!! because.. that's means.... my birthday is coming!!! whee!!! 7th feb ah!! presents ah!!! hee. bleah..
some special thing happened again.. haha.. hooked again.. second time le.. so nice.. the feeling.. lol. warmth... aww.. heater is damn efficient.. haha (***heater - not the thing itself la.. just... someone/something/someshit/)
haii.. some things in this world is just so unfair la.. the best things always come at the end... maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong ppl before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift... grateful for that person..
* happiness lives for those who cry, those who are hurt... those who have searched and those who have tried.. *
very true.... i'm happiee and grateful for what i have now.. i've found my happiness..
i've had my ups and downs... had my heart broke.. had myself hurt.. had my will destroyed.. lost part of myself...
really regret many things i did in the past.. how i wish i could turn back the hands of time.... if i knew i had such a great ball of happiness staring at me now...
i can never forgive myself...
with l o v e * 8:15 PM
Monday, December 26, 2005
i have a short story to blog on.. hehee.. enjoy
once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area. then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher.
student: teacher, i'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate? can u please help me?
teacher: well, it's a pretty hard and easy question
student: (thinking hard) huh?
teacher: look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't u walk there but please never walk backward. just walk straight ahead. on ur way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. BUT just ONE.
student: well, ok then.. wait for me.. (walked straight ahead to the grass field)
a few mins later.....
student: i'm back
teacher: erm, well.. i don't see any beautiful grass on ur hand?
student: on my journey, i found a few beautiful grasses, but i thought that i would find a better one, so i didn't pick it up.. but i didn't realise that i'm at the end of the field and i hadn't picked up any.. as u told me not to go back, i didn't..
teacher: that's what happens in real life.
what's the message of this story?
* grass = ppl around u
* beautiful grass = ppl that attract u
* grass field = time
**** in looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. by doing that.. u'll waste ur lifetime, and time never goes back... grab hold of the opportunities now....
nice yeah? ehhehee.. hai.. life is so unpredictable.. so many things brush pass us so quickly... with little time for us to react and catch hold of it...
* ____ there were moments we laughed and cried
we always stood by each other's side
those many days we spent together
will stay in my heart forever...
with l o v e * 12:20 PM
Sunday, December 25, 2005
yesterday was christmas eve... hehee.. went for service at expo (chc) with jie meis.. aww.. so fun.. haha.. exchanged gifts.. haii..
den went to orchard.. so many ppl la.. lol.. but i didn't stay until countdown.. can't.. and i don't wanna get groped.. lol.. whatever it is spelt.. yeap.. my parents were saying about terrorists planting bombs there.. because there are ang mohs in orchard.. LOL.. haha..
i wanna watch narnia... hehee.. looks nice.
aww.. school is reopening soon.. boring.. oh .. but hey.. my mom's opera friends are coming over to our house for countdown.. whee!!! sho fun.. hope i can go celebrate too.. lol..
i feel like getting a schoolbag.. my sling school bag is hurting my back.. ouch.. too heavy ma.. i need to get those carry on shoulders de.. hehee..
oh ya.. my birthday.. next year!!! coming!!! lol.. 2006.. hope it's a good year for everyone.. especially the sec4's next year..
with l o v e * 1:22 PM