love was born to die

2008-05-19T11:46:00.001+08:00

so people! i have two online diaries now. one at blogger and the other at livejournal.

so take note. and do check back! haha.

mysleepingpills.livejournal.com

2008-05-15T22:17:00.001+08:00

You never see my tears, but that doesn't mean i don't cry.
You never feel my pain, but that doesn't mean i don't hurt.
You only see me smile, and that doesn't mean that i am happy.

every betrayal begins with trust

2008-05-14T21:31:00.002+08:00

it's been VERY VERY long since i posted a proper post.
well.. i'm thinking of moving on to lj anyway. hoho.

school's been tiring - tutorials... mock tests.. and more tutorials. thanks to the usuals that school ain't boring the sheeeet outta me!

been playing a fool the past few days. i feel so carefree.. but deep down i know it's gonna be shortlived. June holidays are coming, and that means Block test 2 is up.
yeah.. i'm getting the momentum up.

i never knew dreams came true, but you showed me they do.

2008-05-07T23:15:00.001+08:00

i bit my lips
to calm myself down

when i'm so close to being yours
won't you stay with me

the reply that never came

2008-04-20T21:32:00.001+08:00

don't act like a saint in front of me, in front of the place God brought you to.

don't go round stabbing someone right from the back.

well done, girl

2008-04-19T18:46:00.002+08:00

hello people!
i am super happy right now, because i've got my own guitar!!

mummy bought it for me, thankfully!

it's..... acoustic guitar.

sui la!

2008-04-12T10:41:00.002+08:00

i came across this when i was at my sister's shop.

if you're chocolate, i'm willing to be a worm.
if you're toilet bowl, i'm willing to be shit.
if you're shit, i'm willing to be fly and fly all around you.

LOL. what the heck..

2008-04-10T21:46:00.002+08:00

Michelle is happy today......

cause i FINISHED ALL my homework that is due tmr.

2 econs tutorial
chem tutorial
GP

OHMYGAWD... i feel so accomplished.

i finished them within 2 1/2 hours. *clap clap*

the exams are nearing. i'm so freakin afraid and going nuts!

hold me my love,
telling me don't be afraid
wouldn't you want me to stay..

2008-04-05T22:14:00.002+08:00

i thought i found paradise in your arms.

i'm falling apart

i'm barely breathing,
with a broken heart.

2008-04-02T18:10:00.002+08:00

I HATE HAIRDRESSERS!!!!!

they cut people's hair short!!

shorter than what they wanted....

screw these people!! argh.

super duper angry okay.

michelle is so pissed now she will rip you apart.

I HAVE F*GGING SHORT HAIR NOW.

2008-04-01T18:33:00.002+08:00

man.. life has been boring for me. i wish studying was more interesting.

chanced upon someone's blog recently.
and saw how he described his longing for his lover.

it kinda touched me.. despite him using many fugs in his posts.

i wonder how many people can love someone so deeply.

it sure takes lotsa courage and stamina.

enough said.

today's april fools!

you're my obsession.

2008-03-24T21:24:00.002+08:00

it's been 5309800194 years since i updated.

been busy catching up with schoolwork.

as if it's not tiring enough, i still have people nagging at me.
oh well.

but it sure feels great to leave the hospital bed. haha.

i can't wait for the outing with the girls on thursday! i'm super EXCITED!

It's the soul afraid of dreaming.
That never learns to dance.
And the soul afraid of waking.
That never takes the chance.

2008-03-09T11:20:00.002+08:00

throughts ran through my mind.

what if..

what if everything didn't start at all.

2008-01-17T20:05:00.000+08:00

why would things turn out this way?

never would u know.
never would u have guessed.

it was probably in your wildest dreams.

someday it'll come back to you.

right back at your face.

friendship is a sacred thing. treasure it.

2008-01-01T12:55:00.000+08:00

woohoo! it's finally 2008!

i guess everyone has their own resolutions.
do try to keep to them yeah!

i woke up feeling great today, full of expectancy.
kinda unusual, knowing the fact that this is my A'level year.
but anyway, i know it'll be great.
God gave me a revelation, finally.

have fun people! i'm turning 18 this year!! yay

2007-12-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

旧事也不须记
事过境迁以后不再提起
从前情爱何用多等待

2007-12-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

"if he really loves you, he will wait no matter how long!"

she's right.

2007-12-26T13:34:00.000+08:00

"why do you try so hard to fit in, when you're meant to stand out? "

2007-12-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

if only we had more time.

2007-12-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

望着你慢慢忘记你

it takes so much pain to put a smile across your face.

someday, someone will take me away.

just let those memories live.

2007-12-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

christmas blessings anyone?

be my santa!

heh.

i want a polo tee....
esp from ralph lauren. damn.. expensive shit.

i want a treat at sakae buffet!

i want heels!

i want a nice necklace.

mmhmmmm!

presents!!!

oh. someone please give me a christmas card!!

2007-12-05T20:39:00.000+08:00

a photo with the headmasters and teachers

a photo that i took with the primary 6 class

my "pachar" = Fairul

the OCIP trip to karimun island was definitely worthwhile.

the bonds that we had.
the friendships made.

we all know we made a difference in their lives.

it was freakin emo shit when we left on the last day.

the children cried.

teachers cried.

we cried.

i'll always remember Fairul.
he cried so badly when we left.
when i gave him a hug and said goodbye,
he cried even more.
he's such a sweet boy.
always helping me with heavy workloads.
these children are just so innocent.

all the children kept smiling at us
and they never fail to talk to us.
they can remember our names well too.

one look at them and your heart will melt.
they're village children who are glad that accept them.

i wanna go back some day again.

2007-11-13T12:30:00.001+08:00

oh wait! most importantly,

i wanna thank those who came to send me off from the airport.

man.. i love these people and those who sent well wishes. lol.

though it was just a short 4 day trip, i was so afraid i couldn't make it back to singapore in one piece.

LOL. i kept thinking the plane would crash. heh. anyway, thanks yo!

2007-11-13T11:52:00.000+08:00

haha. this first pic is dedicated to daniel. =)

ignore my face over here. omg.

qian shou guan yin. goddess of mercy with a thousand hands.
i think that's how they call it. lol

the tallest building in shanghai or something.

view of the city

chou dou fu

there are actually more photos that i wanna upload.

i'll update when i get back from chalet.

blogger is screwed.

ta people!

2007-11-13T11:44:00.000+08:00

OMG! I'M BACK FROM SHANGHAI!

it was pretty fun.. with all the sightseeing and nightwalks.
made some new friends too. heh.

the company had 200 over staff there. was a huge group, but everything went smoothly!

i'm so glad i made it back to singapore. haha.

pictures? oh my.. took over a 100 photos.. i'll update some of em yeah.

2007-11-03T22:59:00.000+08:00

it's the holidays!

but.. well. still gotta head back to school for OCIP rehearsals. hmm..

i love 07s26!! heh.

my classmates are love.

also, THANK YOU TIANLONG!!

he's my angel.(in an angel mortal game) heh.

and he did many stuffs for me.

thanks a million!

yeah. random.

anyway.. i'm going to shanghai on the 7th Nov.

a midnight flight.

coming back only on sunday noon.

followed by my cousin's wedding dinner at Pan Pac, at night.

busy busy!

i'm so gonna study during the holidays.

unexpected, but true. =)

i'm not gonna let my teachers down.

nor my parents,

nor those who love and support me.

arise and build is here!

so gotta stop excessive spending at the moment.

i'm excited to fulfil my pledge!

oh! i kinda like Settlers.

it's like Mindscafe.

peope go there to play all types of games.

board games, card games, etc.

i wanna go again!! anybody?

here are a list of places i wanna go.

take me there? haha.

1. settlers/mindscafe

2. zoo

3. national museum

4. ikea

5. national library

6. resorts

7. icekimo

8. beach

9. pulau ubin

i wanna see animals! HEE.

i wanna appreciate art.

i wanna look at furniture!

i wanna borrow books.

i wanna relax.

i want ice cream!

i wanna ride the bicycle.

i wanna explore!

2007-10-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

break my heart for what breaks Yours.

hear my cries oh Lord.
i need you.

for as I worship You,
You lead me to that place..
to that place of divine exchange.

2007-10-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

从皮包里扯出我们的照片
沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多抽几口香烟
已经没什么人会埋怨

晴天阴天今天又是星期天
唯一的打算是醒得晚一些
反正我不知道怎样打发时间
出门或不出门没差别

一个人到底应该睡右边或左边
两个人连一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人偶尔感到寂寞再所难免
你的气味还留在枕头边

一个人我重新适应一切不方便
两个人不一定就成全一个世界
一个人关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线过去那些情节更明显

2007-10-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

exams are over! haha

and i've been busy going out to soothe my tired mind.

heh.

towning and shoppin is just so fun!! oh my oh my!

firstly! i wanna blog about my angel! ( oh. it's the "angel and mortal" game that my cell group is playing currently.)

THANK YOU ANGEL!!! i hope u're seeing this! heh.

this is the box of donuts from donut factory that my angel bought for me! i feel so loved. heh.

apart from the donuts, he/she bought me a big pillow in white! haha. and the wrapper was in white too!! lovely person i must say. THANKS A MILLION ANGEL!! i love you!!! =)

yeap. i love this free life i'm living now. it's so wonderful!

alright.. plans for the next few weeks!

1. wait for promo results

2. shop till i drop!

2007-09-14T21:09:00.000+08:00

PANGSEH-ED by aikwee..

supposed to study at suntec with me.

nice buddy huh.

lol.

so yeah. met justin and town-ed.

walked from bugis to orchard.

emo-ed all the way.

i love walking around man. heh

today i am fine without you

i'll run away this time, without you.

2007-09-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

in this cruel and imperfect world, i can only say, that

love was born to die.

2007-09-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

anywhere with Jesus i am not alone,
other friends may fail me - He is still my own;

though His hand may lead me over dreary ways,

anywhere with Jesus is a house of praise.

God is good.
God is fair.

enbrace this new term.

with faith that things will get better.

2007-09-05T22:36:00.000+08:00

it's the third day of the september holidays and i must say that it has been enriching.

had tuitions, study groups, sushi making and cell group!

my my. i love this short holiday. it's such a nice break away from the vigorous school curriculum.

i'll upload pictures when i get all of em.

cell group was fascinating. though it was just a short one, and we watched a movie, the impact was huge!

we watched "facing the giants".

it's about a coach, named Grant Taylor, who turned to God at his saddest moments. while he was seeking God, he influenced his football players to trust in God too. the movie showed many situations whereby God did the impossible.

well.. i wanna share some nice points from the movie:

firstly.. there was this part whereby a player was feeling daunted due to his small size. so he said to his wheelchair-bound dad that he's small sized and he doesn't think he would be able to make it for the main team. but his dad told him," we are small, so as to show how good and mighty God is."

your actions will always follow your belief. so don't tell yourself you can't!

we're to bloom right where we're planted. so excel where we are. don't think about how we would do better on the other side of the pasture.

give God everything i've got, leave the results to God.

lastly, nothing is impossible with God.

indeed. i believe God will provide a way for us. since He put us to it, He'll put us through it!

i love you Abba Father.

it's Him who has brought lovely people into my life.

2007-08-21T20:16:00.000+08:00

you can break my heart into a million pieces,
but each piece will still say "i love you".

aww. isn't this sweet?

heh. =) it's a nice quote, quoted from a friend.

alright! toodles people!

gotta bake some cookies now and get back to studying! =)

2007-08-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

thanks for your encouragements! =)

i believe i can keep that smile there yeah?

i'll be having a camp in school on friday to sat.
however, saturday morning, we'll depart to old folk's houses to clean and wash up. at holland village!

i hope i'm making the right decision.
to keep u there.

2007-08-10T12:08:00.000+08:00

far east plaza!

i know i'm heavy.

marcus too!
they were on the 2nd floor of taka, posing as models.

yes, i know we're innocent.
pei yu and i with mr macdonalds! emo-ing along esplanade.

pei yu. me. marcus.

today was super fun la! it was after national day celebrations. pei yu and i went to town and soon marcus joined us. and followed by jeremy. we took neoprints too! wahahah. =)

2007-08-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

below are photos of learning festival in SAJC.

with me in spectacles! =)

calista and i.

constance. me. cali.

beloved constance and i.

constance. me. calista.

me. heh

calista and i.

2007-08-03T20:04:00.000+08:00

my life has just changed 180 degrees after the meet the parents session.

i've been ridden of my freedom, completely.

there are some things i can't help but leave alone.

ever called stupid by your own parents?
ever being told that u should eat more fish because u're so stupid?

u know how it pierced through my heart..?
i could tangibly feel it.

it's bleeding so hard i wish i was dead.

this is not what i wanted.

not at all.

this is gonna be a problem that i'm gonna fight.
fight for my freedom..
slowly.. bit by bit, i gotta stand up again and fight the fatigue.
besides that, i gotta overcome the mind block.
overcome my dumbness.

this is just too much for me.

my pillow's wet from all my emissions of tears and mucus.
can u feel the pain i'm going through from now onwards?

don't took too long to say i love you to the ones u love.

2007-07-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

u know.. sometimes, i just don't know what to feel.

what am i supposed to do?

how am i supposed to react?

there are some things i choose not to know.. things i choose to pretend.. things i choose to hide.

why?

it's just me.

i can't understand myself.
more and more each day, i find myself a mystery. i can't comprehend myself.

i don't know where to go. what to do.

i don't even know what i'm hiding now.

should i just hide myself?

where are u? u've been gone for long.
are we still friends...
or strangers we've become?

2007-07-25T20:09:00.000+08:00

time for updates! =)

oh man. i've been pretty busy with school these few weeks. hmm. let's take a look at the events happening in michelle's life :

- EoM
-homework
- OCIP camp
- piano exam

ok la. maybe there ain't many, but they need so much time and effort to complete.

OMG! i'm so tired. i reach home and the moment i lie on my bed, my eyes close and dreams begin. soon, " michelle, six o clock oredi ah. what u wan to eat for breakfast? " and there my maid is, waking me up. i've been unable to wake up on my own these few weeks. i don't know why.. tired-ness just overwhelms me so much.

i'm falling sick. oh man. screw those viruses. i feel so germy!!

today is the first day of learning festival. BORING!

there's learning fest tomorrow too.

there's OCIP camp on friday to saturday. but i ain't staying over at school. gotta head to ECP at 5a.m to help out with OSIM Triathlon. heh. it'll be fun!

i don't know what i am feeling the past few days. pinches of confusion, jealousy, down..
what's wrong?
sometimes, i just come home, put my bag down and start walking around the house. i know that's lame..

too many things. just too many.. i wish i could walk the neverending long road. don't let it stop, cause i don't wanna come to a T-junction and force myself to decide whether to head right or left.
oh, u see me lugging a luggage twice my size?

2007-07-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

The big question.

who's gonna walk with me?

Sometimes it's hard to find someone to be there for you, to listen to your wild thoughts, your endless rants, your unreasonable complaints.

Can a mere seventeen's words express pain and truth? And, perhaps, rid the world of confusion?

When sick, we either recover or die. But is there ever really recovery from life?

I can't figure out what i'm doing.. what i'm feeling.. what i want. I just feel so fcuked up. I feel as though something ripped my soul and i might never find it back.

Sometimes I think, I typed too much.. what for? It doesn't respond. It doesn't know how I'm feeling.. Maybe I'm just typing to let the world know that I'm falling?

guess so.

I'm getting sick and tired of life.
Hell is inviting me. Heaven is calling for me.

2007-07-05T20:26:00.000+08:00

tell me u'll be coming home tonight.

my attitude towards studies have changed. i'm glad. and i'm thankful for it.
it's really fulfilling to see myself accomplishing things on my own effort. i'm beginning to love it!

anyway.. it's the weekend soon and i wanna go shopping!!!! OH MAN.... $$$$$$...

hmmm... i love to eat! haha. i love to eat burger king, carl's jr, long john, chee cheong fun, toriQ, ice cream, etc. oh man. so much more. i'm becoming a pig. oh. but hey, i love to drink yakult!!! hehe.. super good! it helps in digestion and it makes me poo. =)

i'm sorry if i made u feel 2nd best, but u were always on my mind.

2007-07-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

youth day's gone. and it's back to normal school days. oh. damn. tests scripts coming back, slamming right at my face..

haha. as expected, did badly.

anyway. that's not my point of blogging this evening.

during econs lesson this afternoon, pei yu found 3 postcards under a desk. and on those three cards were very valuable words. and i shall type a few which i like a lot. =)

it's really inspiring!

A champion is someone who gets up, even when they can't.

Don't sacrifice your dreams just because others lack vision.

and lastly, the best.

when the spring of victory comes after a winter of harsh trials, everything is transformed into happiness and joy. without having cried, you can't genuinely laugh. without having suffered, you can't savour real joy. i'm sure there are times when in the midst of some difficulty, you'll think "why me?". but that in fact, is your chance to fulfil the mission you have chosen.

yeah. in short, CHIMOLOGY.

haha. chim la.. but there's the essence of life in it.

sometimes, we just gotta get tough when the tough gets going.

hang in there people! tough days don't last!

2007-06-30T11:56:00.000+08:00

common tests are finally over. YAY!!! =) heh. it's time for some fun, before the mugging starts. oh! there's a youth day holiday for us on monday!! wooohooo!

well.. the common tests were not as easy as we thought they would be. friggin difficult (esp maths and chem) oh man. life sucks. haha. i gotta start revising real hard from next week onwards. i guess my studying hours are just not enough... or maybe, my studying methods are totally wrong. sheeez!

oh! i went to watch transformers yesterday with the zhss band peeps! i would rate it as 9/10 la! the storyline's good. effects super good. and what d'ya expect to be best? hot babes!!! omg. serious. damn good. the show was prolly about 2hours20mins. it was so worth it! sacrifice- was the main theme for the show i guess. about how the good transformers would want to sacrifice themselves for the sake of putting the cube into good hands(which would determine whether the human race would perish) and also how the main lead, Sam, fighting for the cube and caring less about his life. there are some touching parts, but mostly action!

talking about sacrifice, i think to myself, how much have i sacrificed for others? (my family, close friends, even God.) this thought, set me thinking about a lot of things, (and i really mean a lot....).

from now till a levels end, i have so much to sacrifice. my youth, playtime, but most sadly, God.
my parents just don't let me engage fully in church activities. to them, i can only be engaged on a saturday. if i tell them i'm going for cell group or prayer meeting, or fellowship, they would go, "why does your church have so many activities? do they wanna take up every day of the week? why must you always go? can't u skip just one of them? go out and eat don't need money ah?......"

blah blah blah. BAH! freaking irritating.

i know i gotta honour them. but in this case? what am i supposed to do?

i would very much wanna go for fellowship and attend all the activities, but i'm handicapped to do so. everytime i gotta leave them as they head for dinner, i feel burdened. my friends would go, "why aren't u going for fellowship?" or "why do u have to leave so early?" i'm really tired of carrying this burden with me. sometimes, i just wanna go home without explaining anything.

sigh.

2007-06-18T08:42:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging much huh. holidays have been about studying and more studying.

life's pretty good these few months, i must say!
heh.

i miss going icekimo (it's an ice cream shop)
haven't been going there for weeks! OMG... i miss the earl grey and jasmine flavoured ones..
*hint hint*

just a random thought:

why has the world changed.. why are people becoming this way?
how can fame bring a person temptations..
it hurts to hear how things turn out this way.. if only u could have just held on.

i'm glad mine isn't that way. =)

u always make my day.
through silly gestures.
the encouragement comes from u.
the nagging comes from u.
the care and concern that words don't express.
it all comes from u.
always.

2007-06-15T20:38:00.001+08:00

here are some photos from W355's BBQ yesterday!

2007-06-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

holidays have been pretty boring for me. been studying hard for exams.

omg. stab me please... i'm tired. freakin tired from all that, but my parents are expecting more and more each day.

i'm studying close to 8 hours a day.
that's 1/3 of my day.
gone, for the sake of studying.

anyway.. had cell group BBQ today at east coast park.pretty fun!
but i'll post the photos another day.

tomorrow, the gruelling study hours are gonna take place again.

sick and tired.. seriously.

2007-06-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

emerge day 3 was fabulous!

love filled the entire hall. love filled the hearts of those who were present.

this session really renewed my love for God. i'm glad i attended.
it doesn't matter how loud i praise, how fast i pray.
all it matters, is my strong love for God.

here's a new song which i got to hear during emerge today. it's amazing.

i love the life that i have now.
it's filled with God's little touches.

2007-05-27T20:58:00.000+08:00

lotsa people falling ill these few days.. do take care yeah.
well.. i'm down with cough.

HO HO HO! the holidays have started!!
and i can't wait for 6th june to come. it's my sister's wedding dinner at Four Seasons Hotel!!

gonna study real hard with pei yu this holiday. heh!
gotta buck up and do someone proud.

does anyone believe that if someone is meant for u, he/she will return even if they leave one day?

i believe in that.

anyway.. i wanna use this holidays to catch up on my school work, and to catch up with friends.

i miss this good friend of mine since pri school.
i haven't seen her for two years?
she's called weiling. and i think she's in anderson jc. oh man. we haven't been talking that i think we'll find it awkward if we meet up.
but i really miss her. she was a good friend who stayed near my former house and someone who saw me at my most unglam moment. she's the one whom i haven't been contacting and i really miss her.

another good friend of mine.. heh. casherine!
i hope she's doing well at ngee ann poly. that bitch in her class has been giving her trouble. this holidays, it's payback time! wahhaa.
we would be meeting up soon yeah.. i find it a joy to see her and hear her crappings. =)

i miss my jie meis too.. the ones whom i was once so closed too..
shuhan, cherylnn, veronica, vanessa, andrea, constance.
they were important in sculpting the michelle u see now.
i miss them so much. i wanna head out with them.. and have our laughs again.
i remember talking so much nonsense whenever i'm with them.. man.. i had a great time.

victor! you have been the one who has been alongside me all the while. no matter what problem arises, you'll be there to help me through. thanks a lot. i'm glad we got together 4 years ago. that relationship taught me how to care for a guy, taught me how to focus on my studies. without the break up in may 2005, i bet i wouldn't have gotten the good results i got for o levels.

jeremiah, the guy whom i once fell so deeply in love with. a guy who i truly admire. his guitar skills are superb. well.. i bet dota-ing and maple would also be his niche areas. heh. but he taught me how to cherish the guy i love. i guess i didn't learn it in time when we were together. well.. i do miss the fun times.. missing that simple love we had. those spastic photos we took together. but i believe we should look forward yeah? friends we are, that's nice enough. your entry into my life moulded me into a stronger person.

and shawn, do take good care of that sickness of yours..
it's gonna be a month soon! =) whee
i'm gonna attend ur Passing Out Parade yeah? lalala.
thanks for all that you've done for me, really. i'm glad i have u around.
your encouragements have always been in my heart. i've never felt so free when being with anyone. you give me ground to voice my opinions.. time and patience to voice them out. most importantly, you give your open heart to hear them. i know i'm able to tell u anything.
u may be inadequate in some areas, but hey! u're damn good at studying. heh.
i'm so proud of u! even SMU and NTU want you. this shows something man.
it's ok not being an officer. it's just 2 years of fame right?
how about being a successful accountant or business man? it's a lifetime affair.
you can do it! you have my support, all the way.

love. =)

2007-05-21T17:58:00.000+08:00

whao.. haven't been blogging for quite some time.

how's everyone?

yeah. the holidays are coming huh. =) yay!

gonna accomplish lotsa stuff this holiday.

EMERGE is here too! good stuff. LOL.

yeah. it's time for us to come together to learn and have fun.

i miss lotsa people though...

i miss casherine.. she and her nonsense...
i miss cynthia, wan chin and tricia..
i miss lotsa zhss peeps.

i miss that guy too. :)

oh well.. school is fun. with peiyu and her nonsense. lol
accompanying her are constance, calathea, jonathan, daniel and kenn. etc. lotsa nice people in 07S26 i must say.

can't wait for the holidays to come.
i'll surely head down to the ice cream shop to eat. heh.

alright.. be back soon.
take care y'all.

2007-05-04T21:08:00.000+08:00

life's been pretty good!
been breezing through school these few weeks. =)

i guess it's time to get started. yeap.
and GPY, u too k!!!
we must do it together. the 4 of us!

oh! here's a fun fact!

a good friend of mine** said that chocolates contain endorphins - a substance which produces a scent on u which the opposite sex would be attracted to.

heh.

i'm whole once again.

would u stand by me?
hold on and never let me go.
would i be part of your life, when the story gets told?

2007-04-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

well, i thought u would.

have u ever looked at ur handphone constantly, waiting for someone to call?

did u ever give all kinds of excuses just to be with someone for a while?

would u?

2007-04-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

SAJC SUCKS PLEASE.

the school admin to be exact.

yes. totally!

that bloody bruce lee called my house and talked to my dad.

he freaking told my dad that my skirt was short and the worst part,

that i talked in the canteen while having break.

WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT LA?!?!?!?!

I'M HAVING A BREAK AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT LA.

ASSHOLE.

ASSWIPES.

eeeeeee..

disgusting!!

the wonder we did so badly for PW.

because the teachers divert their efforts to observing things like these.

seriously.. i don't think i'm not allowed to talk in the canteen.

open ur eyes u shithead.

and that stupid woman who caught me for skirt.

she was at the bottom of the flight of stairs and i was high up on the stairway. OF COURSE U WILL SEE THAT MY SKIRT IS SHORT LA!!!!

U KNOW WHAT IS PARALLAX ERROR OR NOT?!?!?!

bloody shit.

disgusting teachers.

OH!

just wanna share with as many people as possible. our dear SAJC got mainly c's and d's for PW.
all thanks to incompetent teachers in our school.

URGH!!!
so angry.

2007-04-23T20:10:00.000+08:00

busy busy.

quite ironical to be blogging huh. LOL.

anyway. life these few weeks have been spent with my great friends.

crapping with pei yu.. hanging out with cons and cal.

=)

i'm a happy girl.

haha.

i gotta blog about something.

we were talking about art a few weeks ago.
den we were asking who could draw nicely and stuff..

and i said, " oh! i draw abstract very well..!!"

den that pei yu was screaming away like.. " WTH!!! i also can draw abstract!!! i can draw u a circle and tell u it's a square what!!!!"

(ahah... thanks ah GO PAY YOU)..
so nice of u. lol

2007-04-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

the eye candy had a candy girl.

life's pretty good.
with ice-cream, rugby matches..
not to forget, great friends.

yeap. great friends accompany us through thick and thin.

i love this bunch of friends. =)

they're great people!

lectures are fun, life at SAJC is getting better.

they encourage me to press on.

i know there is someone who feels empty at this moment.
i'm sorry. it's me..

2007-04-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

wow.

i must say that saturday's service was really powerful and refreshing.

i believe this service with rev benny hinn really renewed my relationship with God.

i feel so dependent on God now.
it's like.. i can't stop thinking about Him and his ways.

this feeling could only be shared with God and i.

it was worth lining up in the hot sun!

i'm prepared to live a life of ur ways.
a life of faith.

give me strength, oh Lord.

2007-04-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

i think my cornea was covered or blocked by eye shit for a year la.

i can see clearly now.

after much clensing that is.

i'm so glad.

haha.

=)

no more blindness.

when i look at u now, my heart skips a beat.

and i kena heart attack.

LOL.

2007-04-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

watched the rugby match today. they won cjc!

so scary la.

but we're proud of team sajc!

i think if i was on the field, i would have shrieked my lungs out.

these few weeks are really hectic for me..

lotsa things to handle.

cleared my guzheng exam.

soon it would be the school tests and then exam..

oh man. it never stops.

i just pray that you'll guide me with your grace.

2007-04-10T21:06:00.000+08:00

went to a shop at vivo city and it makes bears.

haha. course, i made one for myself!

she's called tooty.

so cute la. haha.

thanks to someone, i gave life to this little bear.

she's made of velvet. expensive ok... wahahah.

anyway.. i'm tired..
as in physically.

the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

i believe i'm stronger now though.

thanks to u.

2007-04-09T20:56:00.001+08:00

i've seen your true colours.

go feed ur own ego.

i tell u how to see what's ugliness.

go look at the mirror.

u're not only ugly in ur heart, ugly in ur actions, but also ur soul.

ugliness has obscured ur whole face.
i can't see any goodness now.

u're all tinted black in my eyes.

come any nearer and i'll scream in ur face.

seriously.. go feed ur ego until u feel so full and fabulous.

ur actions have shown a lot to me.

u are just plain selfish and u are just living in self-denial.

go on, really, continue with ur lies and acting.

ur dramas can't be globalised though.

i've tolerated enough of your nonsense.

right here, right now.

2007-04-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

我有话说不出来

i'm trying to press on.

2007-04-04T20:28:00.000+08:00

been feeling rather weird while eating these few days.

i guess i'm just too troubled to eat.

i wanna be myself.

i don't know how.

homework coming in faster than before, projects rushing in.

scary.

as i begin to lag behind time, lag behind the whole world, i see myself further away from my goals and aims.

feeling so imbecilic.

stuck in this revolting life for 2 years.
i'm stuck.

2007-04-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

a friend inspired me to write this post.

hearing their stories... i kinda envied them.

i reflected on my own life and realised that my family isn't that perfect too.
my mum has high -blood pressure and yet i still yell at her. it's wrong of me.

my dad expects perfection out of me.
however, he treats me really nice, at the expense of my siblings.
sometimes... i really wonder whether my siblings hate me or not.

it's complicated.

lotsa problems occuring within my friends' lives.
as i look at mine, i have quite a few too.
there are some things i can never tell anyone in this world.
so this makes life tougher for me..

there are many things i haven't done.
right now, i just wanna get things started right.

i wanna help anyone i can.
just to see them smile, from the heart.

u know, the song on my blog means a lot to me.

"i'm always around u. not letting u walk alone.
my gentleness will accompany u till the end.
i'm not leaving, everytime u're sad.
u hear my gentleness? my silence? "

it used to be said to someone so close to my heart. but now, to every friend.

cherish ur loved ones. really.

2007-04-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

我放开手了.

it's time to give up.

i've moved on :)

2007-03-28T19:54:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: this is gonna be a very emotional post.

i don't know what's going on and it seems that i'm in the wrong.
i'm always in the wrong. such that now i don't really care.

one just left me hanging, another thinks i showed hostility or i even used him/her.

what's going on?
i really don't know..

how i wished i really entered hospital.

i really want to just shut myself out from the world.

what's wrong?
what's happening?
i, myself am lost.

no one told me what happened..

am i supposed to take all the blame, all the left overs, just because i hurt u unknowingly?

so much for being friends.
is that the degree of friendship?
if it is, i realise i have better friends than u.

what the fuck did i do wrong?

i seriously feel damn lousy now..
u all don't see the tears flow down.

none of u.

not any. at all.

only my computer screen , my ceiling.

i'm tired.
mentally, psychologically.

ever since last nov, i've been running the race alone.
a race that only i feel the velocity.
God is clocking my time.

is it my fault that i can't reciprocate the same amount of ur love?

i can't believe it. i can't believe i'm in this state out of a sudden.

just stab me please.
i feel so wronged.
been through too much persecution.

tell me please...

2007-03-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

in a perfect world
we would never need
to apologise.

we would never speak
a thoughtless word..

or let each other down
or break each other's heart.

love would conquer all,
and happy endings
would be a dime a dozen.

but this isn't a perfect world,
and sometimes,
people learn things the hard way.

we do things
we can't take back,
no matter
how hard we try..

2007-03-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

i kept trying
kept holding on.

everyday i walk alone,
hoping for u to care for me.

i stare at my phone every hour,
hoping to see ur name appear.

it just never happens.

i'll press on.
till that day comes.

i'll show u what love can do.

in a new environment, a new class.
casherine goh.. i miss u..
i miss ur nonsense.

2007-03-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

i'm going through a rough patch now.

feeling pretty hurt..

u gave me hopes, and took all of them away from me so soon.

blame myself for foolish desires..

i used to think that nothing's unreachable..

u proved me wrong.

no matter how hard i try, how far i reach my hands out,

u're too far for me to hold.

其实早明了
你的爱已随风飘
想要找再也找不到

2007-03-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

have u ever felt so helpless as though not even God can seem to help u?

i'm feeling that way now.
left hanging..

i wish i was strong enough to fight off that feeling.

u're becoming more and more unreachable each day.

in ur presence, i become stronger.

would u stand by me?

2007-03-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

我可以忍受你不够爱我
我可以忍受你遥远的梦
就算是变化挖空我
至少你还在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受做了那么多
使她拥有我该得到的温柔

it's part of a song lyric..
i kinda like this song a lot.. says a lot..
and another song

假装多好
我只要只想要
再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
一直会让我依靠
继续等待
心甘情愿不想逃

i feel as though i'm stucked in between nowhere..

no directions...

anyway.. school is starting tomorrow.. oh man.. i dread it soooo much.

nothing much to blog about... only that.. the march hols was pretty fun. =)

went to library and the pub. lol.

big ben, eng and i

part of w355

OG13

2007-03-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

我一直很有自信
平常不怕说出口
但在你身边时候
突然感觉好害羞
boy u make me so shy
everytime u walk by
怎么我会变这样
身体不听我的
从没有过这感觉
情绪失去控制
dont know what u do to me
i just know it feels right
never felt this way
like i'm outta control

不知道不知道
为什么对你说
喜欢你说不出口
好想跟你表白
好想跟你表白

为什么为什么
不知道怎么说
喜欢你说不出口
好想跟你表白
好想跟你表白

hey boy how ya doing
wussup girl i'm doing good
想要告诉你一件事情
i don't know if i should
没有关系说吧
不要想太多啦
我要让你知道
that i wanna be your girl
一直想要问你
想不想rock my world

wah!怎么这样
你打动我的心
我整个feel like im outta control

不知道不知道
为什么对你说
喜欢你说不出口
好想跟你表白
好想跟你表白
为什么为什么
不知道怎么说
喜欢你说不出口

2007-03-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

2007-03-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

To love someone deeply gives you strength.
Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.

cool phrase yeah?

haha.. well. been having orientation for the past few days! OG13 ROCKS!

haha.. met lotsa nice and cool people. we really bonded together. nice =)

lots of fun moments and disco night was damn high.

anyway... tried on my SAJC uniform and i look weird. haha.. oh well.

gonna have a fun week before school term officially starts.

oh man.. i hope i don't get stressed out.

the feeling to love caught me by surprise
why you?
are u reading this?
it's so real it just hurts so bad.

2007-03-04T13:39:00.000+08:00

i suddenly thought of sharing the word of God on my blog during service.. and yeah, here it is.

1 corinthians 13:4-8 }

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

i think many of us fail to love. that includes me..
we go about rushing through our busy lives and forget about loving others.
be it our parents, our friends, our leaders or our other half.

sometimes, we have to express care and concern to the ones we love.
we can't just be hi-bye friends.
every relationship is worth more than that.
come to think of it, are some out there treating their parents like hi-bye friends?
u see them in the morning and greet them.. u head to school/work, and by the time u're back, they may be asleep or u'll just say "hey, i'm home" and head to ur room..

saddening for such a scene.

i feel like a small girl
waiting for u to protect me
to shower me with ur care

2007-02-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

i haven't been blogging huh.
life's pretty boring these days! =)

recently, i've been able to attend cell group and service. great feeling i must say..
went to sentosa with some church friends on sunday.. alamah... kena sun burn. haha. pretty bad though.
but it was fun! haha.. we should spend more time together..

very soon, the posting results would be out.

i dread going to jc.. i hope i'm the suay-iest of all to not get in..

i know going jc would mean less time for myself, less time for church..
and all the time in my world for studying.

however, no matter where i end up, i'm gonna study real hard.
no more regrets next time.

whatever it is, i MUST have a placing at SMU.

yeah.. wanna bring glory to the Ma family.
my dad has been emphasizing on that since the o levels results were out.

u came into my life
with unspoken thoughts
tell me,
tell them to me
i wanna know how u feel

i can't find a direction now
it's u i want
but how?

are u willing to take my hands and lead me forever?

2007-02-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

celebrated my birthday with a treat from trevor.

at maritus mandarin! =)

buffet la.. haha. thanks budd!

took some pics at joshua's house. this is one of em.

i find this cute.

oh man. i'm working on valentine's day... i requested for morning shift.
besides... no valentine, so might as well earn money.

there are just too many things for me to do...

i wanna head out to sentosa soon.. i wanna head to the beach..

i don't know why.. but i just have the urge to go overseas to study... there are just too much for me to let go.

too much for me to think over here.

2007-02-07T11:31:00.000+08:00

i wish for many things on this day.

this special day for me.

most importantly, i wish for growth in the kingdom of God.

this is the day i'm given life, by Him.

this is the day i'm gonna start.

it's time.

this will be my prayer.

Father, take me with you and be my guide.

i witnessed a miracle by Him. a miracle that only i, can feel the joy of it.

thank you Lord.

please continue guiding me with your grace.

I Love You.

2007-02-06T00:22:00.000+08:00

zhi xuan, trevor and i went to marina square after work yesterday. (sunday)

yeah. we went to Changing Appetites to eat. nice nice. =)

this is zhi xuan and i

after dinner, we went to esplanade and sat there for a while.

this is my favourite place. fullerton hotel.

the place where i wanna hold my wedding dinner.
the place where i await that guy. haha

alright! i'm awaiting my birthday and valentine's day.

i wonder what's gonna happen..

heading out with eng to shop tomorrow. yay!
it's been a while since i went with cg members.

ciao

2007-02-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

well.. the past week has been pretty fun.

i'll let the pictures do some of the talking.

these are on 2nd feb. lotsa funny incidents during the party.

cosplay!

trevor, joshua and i spent many crazy moments.

btw.. this is joshua, one of my close friends.

here are some scandalous pics. lol. (acting only la)

eh eh eh.. take note please, these pics are all just posed pics.

brokeback

scandal 1

scandal 2

scandal 3

love at first sleep. lol

yeah... haha.. these are the funny pics. forgot to take pics of the whole group who came. ooops!

anyway.. it was fun.. cash, vera, trev and joshua stayed over at my place. drank ice wine and we couldn't sleep until about 3 am. lol..

five of us squeezed onto two beds. (lesson learnt: dont do that again)

anyway... gonna blog very soon again. more pics!

good night and take care peeps

2007-01-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

well , as usual, i've been working..

recently... someone sent me a surprise to taka.

a bouquet of flowers without name.

haaha.. sweet.

been heading out with good friends these few weeks..

after work... maybe go drink a while or we'll just spend time slacking around.

haha.. thanks!

anyway.. i realised something good.

though i keep missing service and cell group, i have a colleague who is a christian and we exchange verses and stories in the bible.. really meaningful. at least God is not depriving my soul of food.

ps: thanks for the message in the bottle [s]

2007-01-16T20:41:00.000+08:00

i miss so many people.. aw.

haha. well.. the feeling's great to chat up with some friends that we've lost contact with.

life's good. really learnt a lot of things from friends i've got to know..

i guess... it's time for me to forget about him. it's time to start over again.

sometimes.. i really wish i don't know anything about his life. but.. the truth just keeps slamming onto me.

his life.. his relationshipswith other girls..

i realised how foolish i was to think that i could die for him.. when he doesn't even bother.

傻到无可救药..

i am moving on.

cheers!

2007-01-09T20:19:00.000+08:00

well. many things have happened.

made a lot of new friends. haha.

work has been quite fun. hee. takashimaya has many nice people.

can't wait for 20th and 26th. hope he'll do well.

been drinking quite a lot the past months. well.. i know it's bad, but it's the festive season! haha.

it's been so long.. but i don't know why it still hurts. i try to forget about it, but those moments keep appearing.

though i have close friends encouraging me and accompanying me through the night.. it aches at the place where he was once so close.

haha. oh well. i believe He will give me the strength when i need it.

currently working at taka tommy hilfiger. come find me and i'll be super happy.

thanks to those who came and even accompanied me for dinner. haha.

shawn.. if u're reading this, smile! haha. and continue scolding the callers. will come find u soon! await the surprise!

joshua! be confident of urself yeah. haha. u go dude. style ur hair again some day! whahaa.

casherine goh! haha. happy not.. went to see u during work. haha. love ya still.

a new beginning.

kinda miss many friends whom i lost contact with.

ki wo tsukete.

not working on 4th and 7th of feb. birthday outing anyone?

2006-12-26T00:02:00.000+08:00

Working at Tommy is getting more fun. Meet alot of friends over there.

The new year is coming, and i hope to have a better year ahead.

Though many of you tell me to move on, it's still quite difficult for me to let it all go. I know very well that he's still somewhere in my heart.

Many interesting event have happened.

To shawn:

Thanks for all your surprises. Really glad to see you again.

2006-12-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

Today, i went for service.

Well, it felt alright.

I believe time will heal.

Though it hurt to hear some things from friends, i know i will see with my own eyes next time.

Today's make-up cell group and service were very meaningful.

Heading to work tomorrow. Well, work isn't that tiring anymore.

Lots of things have happened, i guess this is part of fufilling my destiny.

There are certain things best not to be said.

But i know i've become a stronger person.

2006-12-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

Give me the courage to live.

2006-11-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

Oh. I'm gonna start work at tommy hilfiger this saturday at taka. Taking the afternoon shift.

I decided to let time heal. I hope working would stop me from thinking too much.

2006-11-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

the day i gonna stop waiting the necklace would be the day i'm gonna stop waiting for him.

2006-11-22T13:15:00.002+08:00

read some ppl's blog.. well.. i guess i ain't fit to be a friend at all..

i very much wanna be mature and grow up... and not do anything that make anyone unhappy.

i don't wanna be like a childish girl ranting all day long... but i cant help it.. please understand.

how much i wanna care.. u don't wanna accept it..

my name wasn't mentioned at all.... not a single "michelle" in ur posts....

why..

went to MOS last night.. perhaps the last meeting?

it felt really comforting when for those few seconds, ur hand was on my waist.

cry to sleep every night..

knelt and begged for answers... but nothing struck me..

only this verse..
" there is a time for everything"

is this the time to part?

i wanna do many things with him...

loving him.. holding his hand.. looking at him..

i need his protection..

i really need him a lot.

u know... everytime i look at u on tuesday, u seem to be smsing away..

to her... i can't help but cry.. why can u sms her and not me...

why..

i really wanna know..

throughout the day, i told myself not to look anymore... i couldn't..

everytime i forced myself not to, i cried..

it's difficult.

talk about dying,

i feel like to.. but..

i don't wanna...

i realise.. if i really did die some day,

i wouldn't be able to see u anymore..

wouldn't be able to watch out for u.

wouldn't be able to just do things for u.

as our cell group is multiplying,

i really hope that we'll still be in the same cell together..

for now... i hope to be ur friend.. till u're ready.

u asked me whether i can wait..

yes i am.

really hope to spend our one year anniversary together..

i'm breaking down each day.. just hoping to see u and talk to u.

u made me fall so hard..

so hard that i can't get up alone..

i need you to hold my hand.. and tell me i'm yours again.

2006-11-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's performance was smooth.

Today wasn't.

I guess this time is really the last chance ba.

But i lost it already.

I thought tuesday would be a very memorable day for me, but i guess i have to spend it alone.

2006-10-23T10:36:00.000+08:00

here are some photos first.

timothy and i

yuhan, cash, i and mich sab

wan chin and i

bao xian and i

kun ying and i

singwoon and i

mrs koh

mrs lim

2006-10-19T22:08:00.000+08:00

was pretty bored studying away..
and so i went to draw stuffs...
lol.

and my dad saw...

haha.

he asked, " are u studying or anyhow? "

lol. cute sentence right!?

these are 2 pics took today morning.

2006-10-19T15:59:00.000+08:00

here are the pics. haha. more to come.

2006-10-18T17:24:00.000+08:00

cam whored with the girls today. haha

friday's nearing... means graduation day is.. aw.

the feeling's gonna be kinda sad..
wo bu she de!

the times we spent together in class...

we did many stupid things la.

pon-ning pe lesson.
making teachers pissed.
keeping quiet and not answering the teachers.
being spastic.
shouting in class.

those fun times.. there won't be anymore.

4e3'06 consists of 42 girls and boys.
31 girls and 11 boys.
one FT. Tan Gim Hua

gonna miss the class so badly.
i realised.. that they make up my life too.
the joy of studying together.. learning as a class.

as each and every one of us move on to different institutions, we part.
at least we all know, our paths crossed.
we came into the same class since sec3 and our relationship was built since.
those fun times, i will remember. =)

i feel very glad to get such friends.
because i know they are always there, for me.

whenever i came into the class in the morning.. with eyes swollen, face looking sad, the closer ones would know something is wrong.

i know they know what's going on. i thank u all. ur acknowledgement is enough.

2006-10-17T15:01:00.000+08:00

nanyang poly is huge la.
and it has many fronts..
and i had a super difficult time finding places. lame shit.

saw some friends from ajc eating there.
haha.

macs was super hot la..
but it was fun.
the ppl there are funny la.

we went to classrooms to see if they were empty. go in sleep. lol.

finally, our destination was some club room. haha.
lotsa freebies. go there kope.

hmm. but. since year 3's have their attachments at the start of the semester, it means that my presence in nyp is a waste. so. ngee ann here i come. =)

aw.

today there was no school. so is thurs.
so yeah. thurs maybe going down again ba. see whether that person's gonna call me down or not.

ok. just some random pics that i find nice.

the only thing i can do. lol

this was sec 3 la. look at that ass face of mine. and casherine's asleep.

how i wish to see u on the 17th.
take my hand,
bring me away.

2006-10-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

this post is dedicated to my dad, though he will never see this.

papa, actually.. i love u a lot. i wanna care for u.
wanna do things for u.
but ur stern demeanour just deters me from doing so.

as i heard u coughing away, my heart ached.
i prayed that God would make u feel better.

i see u doing so many things for me..
it saddens me.
u're sixty plus and still doing things for me.

i'm truly touched and i really appreciate it a lot.
i'll never take u for granted anymore.

i'll appreciate u asking me to eat more..
i'll appreciate u asking me to study..
i'll appreciate u wanting to fetch me home from school everyday..
i'll appreciate everything u've done for me.

i realised u've been very patient with me..
but forgive me for my rebellion.

i realised that i need u ever so much.
i thank u and mummy for bringing me into this world despite being 9 years away from sis and 13 years away from bro.

because of what u've done for me, i wanna prove that i'm worthy of ur sacrifices.
i promise whoever that reads this post that i will start studying very hard for olevels and score distinctions for u.

trust me.

i wanna thank someone who told me before that i was taking my parents for granted.
he is so true.

i never truly appreciated them before.
i focused my love and energy on the wrong things.

papa, mummy,
i will get a business degree and bring the company to greater heights.
i must let the two of u enjoy life.

btw... know what does family mean?

it means Father And Mother, I Love You.

2006-10-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

today is a fruitful day!

haha.

i mopped the floor,
wiped the floor with a cloth (using my bare hands) =) ,
replaced the dustbins,
for all floors.
AND
washed the clothes,
ironed them,
ALSO
studied.

hee. felt like i lost some weight.
wahaha.. but yeah.. i realised my arms are more toned now.

YAY!

tmr is gonna be a long long day. until.... 9p.m

(lose weight!)
yeah.. lose more kilos.
but of course.. not at some body parts.. heheheee

alright.
i'm gone.

2006-10-08T19:49:00.000+08:00

last night, went for church and was supposed to go to vivocity to eat with cell group de.. but i got a headache. my head was so heavy that it could dig a hole in the ground la.

so i went home. -.-"

sian..

today morning, had tuition at 8a.m. gosh. that's early la.

den afternoon went out.

at queenstown, i lost my way while finding my grandma's house.
lol.

and that area is seriously infested with tikos la.

damn scary.

they look.. stare... come so near that i just wanna scream at them.

this time, when i turned around.. no one was there to protect me.

finally reached her place after a long and tiring search.

went there to eat biscuits and drink ribena!

was pretty hungry. hee.

i was supposed to bring her home with me.
so she could accompany me.. lol
(my parent's idea)

but oh well. it was nice after all. she cooked dinner for me..

tmr most prob i would stay out late. at school.. or maybe somewhere studying.

the laptop is just too tempting for me.

oh. this reminds me. i've yet to complete a composition on temptation.
seesh.

anyway.. hai.
one more month!

just one more month!
17th nov 2006!

i'm gonna enjoy myself on that night la. =)

people.. please bring me out!
bring me along to parties.. to bars.. to pubs. wahha.

take me to the nightlife.

i wanna head to clarke quay and fullerton!!!

the feelings rekindled upon the meet.
i still can feel the shyness in me when our eyes met.

it won't do to keep dreaming of u
i feel like a fool burning my own shoes.
the pain is fueling the flame.
can't u see that my soul is screaming for u

some say that time can heal the pain and snuff my desire
and when the seasons come and go, u just feel so tired.
all the rituals of denial
fades the memory of the genuine smile.

remember how u used to give that silly smile?

2006-10-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

the night is still young. lol

well.. parents are overseas ma. hehe.. no curfew! except for my sis telling me to get home earlier

hehe.

went for piano.
went to meet my god bro, wenxing.
hai.

brother, if u're reading this.. go get her alright!
haha. u know.. sometimes girls just wanna know that u care for them.
girls wanna feel that they have someone to turn to.
so if u're there for her...
yeah.. hehe
she'll find comfort in u.

don't give up ok?

haha. enjoyed the chat at starbucks with u.
well. do eat even if ur appetite isn't there..
and study well to get into TP.

ok. change topic.

recently.. there's this neh thing about someone commenting that cash and i are lesbians.
lol. that is damn hilarious please.

omg. yeah.. like we suck each other's face in school?
like we hold hands and hug?

open ur eyes wide u dipsy.

I AM STRAIGHT.
must i call some guy down and hug him in front of school?

that's so funny i can't stop laughing whenever i think about it la.

oh. i suppose tomorrow's gonna be fun.
ok.. tmr meaning saturday. look at the time now.. it's past 12.

gonna be at expo by 3.30.

hmm.. i wonder what to do from 12 to 3..
oh please... i wanna head to town..

i wanna get bra straps! wahaha.
or maybe i should head to the airport to study?
=)

at night.. it would most probably be dinner with the cell.
and den... heheeheee...

*grins*

(actually i haven't decided yet.)

i wanna go geylang and see the happenings. hehe.

or maybe just stroll along clarke quay!

oh. the night's gonna be fun.
i wish.

2006-10-04T21:12:00.000+08:00

blog hopped for a while just now. haha.

read about different people's life.
really read about lots of things about them.
their love life... studies.. family.

well.. i guess we students can't escape these three things in our life now.

oh. this weekend would be so fun.

my parents are going overseas! wahaha.. finally! after so long..

well.. haven't really thought of the plans yet.
but guess it would be fun! =)

n levels gonna end... and o levels are coming... oh no.. no time.. no time..

my dad just hinted me to go to a jc. wtf.

no no no! bu yao!

i thought of vjc or sajc.... lol. BUT. nah.. no jc for me.

ate char siew bao for dinner. hehee..

u know the feeling of envy?

i read a blog of someone's bf.
lol.

he was proclaiming his love for her there.
and really saying sweet thoughts out..
SWEET~

it's been so long...

ha. oh well.

wanna focus on geog and chem and ss/hist.

oh no. from next week onwards, it would be hectic for us.
i think we would have ssps almost everyday.

NOOOooo!

oh. that cai lao shi say our hcl class of students are cows.
wa lau.
does that mean she can milk me?

LOL!
hee =)

the scars are so ugly.

2006-10-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

keep waking up at 4am these few nights. it's become a habit now.

i thought it was due to some nightmare or something... but.. it wasn't..

i just kept on thinking that my phone would have a message or a missed call. well.. nothing.

it's always at around 4am. i just open my eyes. just like that!

and i just lie on my bed, before feeling for my hp around my body. yeah. my hp's always somewhere on my bed.

my phone was silent.. no msgs. no missed calls.

sometimes, it's just a matter of being used to it.

it's been long enough...

it's time i learnt to get used to it.

u know.. there are lots of things i just wanna say to u... but u aren't there..

do u know how much have happened to me within these few days..

u don't...